Nintendo Fighter School
by Johto Jedi
Summary: The Sakurai Academy of Fighting and Fighters is just like your typical school: homework overloads, water-mixture lunches, pretty basic, except for the fact that it's training students to fight in smash, until the campus gets in a prank war caused by two graduates. However, things change when an interaction with a weird child mixes things up. Hinted Lupittoo. NOW WITH SEQUEL!
1. Meta Knight Fails

**Welcome to the Sakurai Academy of Fighting and Fighters! Here, students learn how to become fighters in Smash Bros. Graduates, fighters who get in, are still allowed to stay on campus and hang out with friends who are still in training. Each student is sorted into a dormitory depending on what game they came from.**

*Meta Knight, Lucas, and Lucario are walking around because they want to. Suddenly, a group of Toads walk by.*

**Lucas:** Oh, hey, look at those kindergarteners with hats.

**Lucario:** Yup, sure.

**Toad:** WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!

**Lucario:** I'm outta here, ! #$%.

*Lucario walks away.*

**Lucas (sarcastically):** Oh no! We have to fight you! Seriously? *takes out Rope Snake, who stares blankly into his soul*

**Toad:** MARIO! Bowser has possessed this child!

**Meta knight:** Uh, okay.

**Mario:** Lets-a go! *runs in* What-a happened?

**Toad:** That kid was talking to a red reptile! Red! Like fire!

**Lucas:** PK fire?

**Toad:** SEE?! He can talk to that _reptile_ and he has fire powers! He's cursed I tell you, CURSED!

**Mario:** Hmm, well, I-a you might-a remember what-a Link told me about how-a to break-a curses.

**Meta Knight:** Oh no.

**Mario:** KILL HIM.

**Lucas:** Uh, there's a plumber trying to kill me.

**Meta Knight:** Lucario's stupid psychic powers! Why do I have to do this alone?

*Mario runs up and tries to punch Lucas, but Meta Knight jumps in front of him and starts swinging his sword around like a lunatic.*

**Meta Knight:** Watch it ya' low tier plumber butt. Don't mess with this kid and you'll mess with a Brawl SS-tier. Go. Away. Now. Or else.

**Mario:** You-a don't understand, you old-a helmet head-a. That snake-a was red like-a fire. Snakes are reptiles. Bowser is a reptile that-a breathes fire.

**Meta Knight:** You idiot! Bowser graduated into Smash not that long after you. We won't let our pasts from Brawl and our original games change the way we think. Take me and Kirby for an example. We still get along.

**Mario:** Toad-a! Get me a, you-a know.

*Toad throws a leaf at Mario. Mario Turns into his racoon form.*

**Meta Knight:** Oh yeah? Ya wanna pick me a fight? That suit doesn't make you anything but a furry with a bad mustache.

**Mario:** You're-a on. *uses a punch thingy*

**Meta Knight:** Hey, watch this, sucker! *hits Mario with a long chain of sword beams.*

**Lucas:** W-w-what? You can only use sword beams at full health!

**Meta Knight:** I HEALED MENTALLY.

**Mario:** Wait-a, what? I-a - _oof_.

*Meanwhile, Red (Pokemon Trainer) and Pikachu walk by on the way to the cafeteria.*

**Red:** Woah, what is that? Looks like a rabid raccoon is getting hit with flaming arrows. Eh, not important.

**Pikachu:** Pika! Pika! Pi Pika Pikachu Pika! (Red! C'mon! I've got an idea!) *runs over to watch; talks to Rope Snake*

**Rope Snake:** sssssssssssssssss (Hey, Lucas! Why don't we settle this with a prank war! Genius, right?)

**Lucas:** _Prank war_? How would that settle ANYTHING?

**Meta Knight:** *stops battle* Great idea! All Mario guys againsts all Kirby and MOTHER guys! Done!

**Mario:** You-a can't go -_huf-_ two-a against one! I-a want -_huff_\- Splatoon.

**Meta Knight:** Well, then I'm takin' Pokemon!

**Mario:** Legend of-a Zelda. Ha!

**Meta Knight:** Oh, you're on! So, we can stop battling, for now. Bye, Falisha! *pushes Mario away* So, Lucas, what do you think?

**Lucas:** How did you let him get LOZ? Not to mention, Mario's series has more fighters AND students than Kirby and MOTHER combined. Seriously?

**Meta Knight:** Don't worry. I'll send Kirby to inform all of the other MCs. They can choose teams themselves. I think we might definitely get Kid Icarus, since Pit trusts Dark Pit, who is kinda close with me, as you probably know. Anyway, I think you should go tell your friends. They might be, uh, interested. Se ya'!

*A few hours later, at dinner in the cafeteria, Lucas decides to sit with the other MOTHER characters, rather than Meta Knight and his friends.*

**Ness:** Oh, uh, haven't seen you sit here in awhile!

**Jeff:** He's never sat here. He became a student like, a day before he got in, and graduated fighters can sit where they want. He doesn't care about us. It's obvious.

**Ninten:** I love prime ribs! (I'm trying to change the topic.)

**Giygas:** No one cares! I like human souls and I don't announce it all of the time!

**Lucas:** Uh, there's something I have to tell you guys.

**Ness:** Well, I think we should listen to our friend here.

**Lucas:** We are in a team with the Kirby and Pokemon series in a prank war against Mario, LOZ, and Splatoon. Uh, any opinions…?

**Giygas:** Okay, that's it! Who's idea was this?!

**Lucas: **Meta Knight.

**Giygas:** When I get the chance to-

**Ness:** Thank you for sharing, Lucas. So, um, does, uh, anyone wanna talk about, er, STUFF?

**Jeff:** You're not helping anyone, you know!

**Lucas:** Uh, bye! *literally RUNS from table; sits with Meta Knight, Dark Pit, Ridley, Green Inling, and Joker*

**Meta Knight:** Let me guess, it went terribly, didn't it?

**Lucas:** Of course it did! I had to spread information to a table full of people that either didn't know me or hate me for obvious reasons. *starts picking at a watery omlet he got from the lunch ladies working behind the counter* Who's paying these guys to make food this unappetizing?

**Joker:** Probably no one. At my old school, there used to be these lunch ladies that were only there so they could follow up on trends. *sighs* One of many reasons I'm GLAD I got expelled.

**Green Inkling:** Let's be honest. Who would WANT to go to school anyway?

**Lucas:** Probably my old self. Back when I was so desperate to get a single social interaction *starts crying lightly* WHY?!

**Meta Knight:** Great. You made Lucas cry.

**Ridley:** Hasn't everyone? Wait, maybe besides Dark Pit.

*Dark Pit stares at the bowl of cold soup in front of him and starts humming Ol Ang Sign.*

**Ridley:** Dude, no, just no. That song is so overrated, just like Samus. So what I Killed her family? People die every day. DP, that song reminds me of SO many terrible things, I- *stops moving* never mind.

*Dark Pit starts humming Sound of Silence to make Ridley more comfortable*

**Ridley:** Dark Pit, just stop! That song reminds me of Samus' face when they died!

*Dark Pit stops humming. He then starts back up mumbling the lyrics to a Minecraft parody*

**Meta Knight:** Anyway, about that prank war-

**Green Inkling:** Oh yeah, that thing. I'm on the opposite side of some of you, right?

**Meta Knight:** Mario can be cruel.

**Green Inkling:** Honestly, I won't be surprised if the other Inklings target you. I mean, you ARE the school "edgy boi", according to those Undertale/Delta Rune guys. Please don't kill me, but sometimes those guys can be hard to persuade… *gets flashback*

**Joker:** Uh, are you okay?

**Green Inkling:** Inkling Boy! *punches table, causing Dark Pit's soup to spill on Ridley*

**Ridley:** dude, why is this so cold?!

**Dark Pit (quietly):** It's just like my heart. Cold, lonely, shattered.

**Principal Master Hand (over loud speaker):** Five more minutes of eating. Repeat: You have five minutes left to eat!

*Lucas shoves the entire omelet into his mouth and almost throws up. Dark Pit goes to the counter to get more soup. Meta Knight hides under the table so no one can see him without a mask and devours a plate of beef tacos. Green Inkling finishes his shrimp triumphantly. Ridley decides to eat the bones of his human fillet, since everyone else was eating. Joker, who was already finished, put on headphones and blasts AC/DC.*

**Meta Knight:** *gets up from under table* I think I should tell Kirby all of the, you know, info. He's, um, er, a good spokesperson? *teleports away from table*

**Kirby:** Poyo! (oh , look ! It's the masked guy. That reminds me: When was the last time I checked my credit card? Oh wait, that was at least a month ago. Oh look! There's Meta Knight! Have you seen my wallet anywhere lately? I think I-)

**Meta Knight:** That's not why I'm here, ya know. There's something I have to tell you.

**Kirby:** Poyo! (Wait, so you HAVE seen my credit card? Thank you so much! Maybe me and you could-)

**Meta Knight:** Sorry, but no. However, I'm here to inform you about a prank war. So far the teams are us, MOTHER, and Pokemon vs. Mario, LOZ, and Splatoon. I need your help to-

**Kirby:** Poyo! (Yaaaaay! We are going on an adventure! Maybe we could find my wallet and credit card on the way!)

**Meta Knight:** I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR CREDIT CARD! I just wanted to ask you if you could ask the other MCs what teams they want to be on.

**Kirby:** Poyo! (Okay, I guess I could do that. Maybe one of them has seen my wallet! I accept your mission Sr. Meta Knight!)

**Meta Knight:** Whatever… *teleports back to original table*

**Lucas:** So, how did it-

*Bell rings*

**Principal Master Hand (over loud speaker):** Okay, everyone! Dinner is now over! Meet with your dormitory mates in your assigned spots and exit as a group.

**Meta Knight:** Bye, Falishas! *open wings and flies away*

**Lucas (to himself):** Why do I always have to meet up with those guys? They hate me! *slowly walks to MOTHER series group*

**Ness:** OKEY, is everyone here?

**Masked Man:** Probably, I mean who would WANT to be here?

**Ness:** OKEY, back to the dormitory!

*Meanwhile, in the Kirby group…*

**Kirby:** Poyo! (Ah, looking good tonight! Now, I will take roll call. Meta Knight?)

**Meta Knight:** Why am I here?

**Kirby:** Poyo! (Okay. King Dedede?)

**Dedede:** Yeah, I'm here all right!

**Kirby:** Poyo! (Got it. Bandana Dee?)

*Bandana Dee jumps up so Kirby can see he's present.*

**Kirby:** Poyo! (Uh huh. Magolor?)

**Magolor:** Blp blp ch bip. (HERE!)

**Kirby:** Poyo! (Excellent. Nightmare?)

**Nightmare:** Present. Heh heh…

**Kirby:** Poyo! (Oh, uh, yeah. Marx?)

**Marx:** HA HA HA HA! IIIIII'M HE-HE-HE-HERE! A-A-ARR!

**Kirby:** Poyo! (Splendid. Prince Pluff?)

**Prince Pluff:** Present.

**Kirby:** Poyo! (Okay, Kawasaki?)

**Chef Kawasaki:** Oh, uh, I'M HERE!

**Kirby:** Poyo! (Truly excellent. Knuckle Joe?)

**Knuckle Joe:** Here.

*a few minutes later*

**Kirby:** Poyo! (Perfect. Everyone's here. Now, let's go. Adventure awaits every day!)

**Meta Knight:** No it doesn't.

**Bandana Dee (to himself):** What a pessimist. How did HE get in but I didn't?


	2. Mario Gains Street Cred

*A while later in the Splatoon dormitory…*

**Inkling Girl:** So, everyone's heard about that prank war, right? Whoever chose us must be a genius! I mean, …

**Inkling Boy:** Oh yeah. Heh heh heh. We're gonna trick their butts!

**Green Inkling:** How is that funny?

**Cyan Inkling:** Daily Inkling Boy bad pun count: twenty-seven.

**Purple inkling:** Dude, you like, totally need to step up your game. *continues texting*

**Inkling Boy:** What? I'm trying, okay?

**Green inkling:** If you were trying, you would stop making them.

**Indigo Inkling:** Oof, got rekt.

**Magenta Inkling:** Gotta say, that was just harsh. That's why I enjoyed it!

**Inkling Girl:** Maybe we could try using those roast attacks on the other team during the prank war!

**Green Inkling:** I've done that already. Multiple times.

**Inkling Girl:** Oh, so that must be what goes on at your table.

**Octoling Boy (to himself):** Wish I could graduate. The idea of sitting wherever you want sounds pretty legit. Eh, whatever.

*in the MOTHER dorm 30 minutes or so later*

**Lucas:** Hey, Claus?

**Masked Man:** Yeah, what?

**Lucas:** You know that prank war I mentioned? Ness, I think, said that he would go to the Heroes' Hall at, like, I don't know, 8 PM or something.

**Masked Man:** Lucas, it's already half past. He left thirty minutes ago.

**Lucas:** Oh, he did?

**Masked Man:** How are we even twins?

**Lucas:** We were born from the same parents on the same day. That makes us twins. Boom, genetics!

**Masked Man:** Whatever…

*at the Heroes' Hall*

**Kirby:** Poyo! (We have gathered here today due to a recent declare of war. Us, as the main characters, will have to choose sides.)

**Mario:** Choose-a wisely. The side that you-a choose will be the side you and your-a game-mates will have to fight for.

**Kirby:** Poyo! (Will you side with the overrated Mario characters, or the diverse Kirby characters? Your choice!)

**Mario:** Oh, and-a by the way, Lucas is on-a Kirby's team.

**Ness (quietly):** Oh geez…

*awhile later*

**Kirby:** Poyo! (I HATE HUMANITY!)

**Mario:** Ha-ha-ha. So-a, the teams are…

Team 1:

Kirby

MOTHER

Pokemon

Kid Icarus

Metroid

Animal Crossing

"Wii Stuff"

Persona

Bayoneta

F-Zero

Final Fantasy

Banjo and Kazooie

Castlevania

Team 2:

Mario

Splatoon

Legend of Zelda

Fire Emblem

Starfox

Arcade Games

Ice Climber

Pikmin

Xenoblade Chronicles

Streetfighter

Metal Gear

Sonic

Punchout

Dragon Quest

Fatal Fury

Games With Just Students (no fighters in these dorms, these include Minecraft, Undertale, Halo, etc.)

**Mario:** There are also some-a neutrals, but that's-a not important.

**Kirby:** Poyo! (Please return to your dormitories. Let the wars begin!)


	3. Toadette Ruins Your Childhood

*that night, in the Mario dorm*

**Toadette:** Hey, Toad! Wake up!

**Toad:** Wha-huh? What time is it?

**Toadette:** That's not important. C'mon. I've got the perfect idea for a prank. Get up and I'll show you.

**Toad:** Oh, uh, okay. *gets out of bed*

*Toadette lead Toad to a closet on the opposite side of their dorm room*

**Toadette:** Go ahead. Open the closet.

**Toad:** *opens closet* Oh, look! A chest!

**Toadette:** Don't touch that thing. It's dangerous. *opens chest to reveal princess mushroom things* My idea is to send these bad boys out to our enemy teams and let them choose their victims. Heh heh. Any objections?

**Toad:** Uhhh, GREAT!

**Toadette:** C'mon. Let's go.

*The two Toads arrive at their first destination.*

**Toadette (whisper):** *throws mushroom towards the Kirby dorm* Fly free!

*Toad and Toadette head over to F-Zero. After they finish there, they go to Final Fantasy, Castlevania, and Pokemon, and then head back to _their_ dorm.*

*the next morning*

**Kirby: ***hears loud curse word replacements from the room next to him* Poyo! (Hey, quiet down!)

*screaming continues*

**Kirby:** Poyo! (Fine, I'll go check it out.) *goes to next door down* Poyo! (That's it! What happened in here?!)

**Galacta Knight:** Wait, why are you expecting _us _to know?!

**Dark Meta Knight:** Why are you even in our room? Get the heck outta' here, gumball!

**Kirby:** Poyo! (Where's Meta Knight?)

**Morpho Knight:** He's, uh, _busy_. *accidentally steps on lump under blanket*

**Meta Knight:** Ow ow ow, stop it!

**Kirby:** Poyo! (Meta Knight?)

**Meta Knight:** Kirby?! Ak, don't look at me! *pulls blanket harder over his body*

**Kirby:** Poyo! (It's okay. If you tell me what happened, I can help you.)

**Meta Knight:** No! *teleports into bathroom and starts crying*

**Kirby:** Poyo! (Okay, I coming in.)

**Morpho Knight:** Dude! If you were in the bathroom would you want someone to walk in on you?

**Dark Meta Knight:** Yeah! Haven't ya' ever heard of privacy?!

**Kirby:** Poyo! (Wait, no, what? Sorry, I-) *runs into bathroom*

**Meta Knight:** KIRBY! GEt the heck out of here! I just feel… like Lucas.

**Kirby:** Poyo! (Oh, yay! Depression!) *looks up* Poyo! (What the heck happened to you?)

**Meta Knight:** *cries harder* _Sigh_, I guess this is what it's like to be the main target in a prank war. Hey, wait! Kirby, can you inhale whatever's inside of me and puke it in that toilet?

**Kirby:** Poyo! (Uh, sure?) *fallows Meta Knight's instructions*

**Meta Knight:** *looks in mirror* Oh yeah, I'm back, baby!

**Kirby:** Are you my father?

*meanwhile, at the F-Zero dorm*

**Captain Falcon:** Oh yeah! Ready to start my day. Time for falcon pushu- _Ak_! *see's reflection* W-w-what the heck h-happend to me? I miss my abs! Where did this- this- this THING come from! A crown? Here's what I think of YOU! *throws off crown, steps on it, and turns back into Captain Falcon* I'm free!

*around the same time at Final Fantasy*

**Cloud:** Oh come on! Don't tell me I overslept! My hair! It must be a disaster! What are the girls gonna think of a beadhead like this? I must get my hair gel, and fast! *goes to bathroom mirror to do his hair* What the- NO! This can't be! How the heck did this happen! I feel like... like… like… I can't even explain.

*Confused by the noise, Aerith decided to see what's going on.*

**Cloud:** Who's knocking, and why? Tell me.

**Aerith:** Oh, it's me. I was wondering if you were alright.

**Cloud:** sorry, not now. I'm busy.

**Aerith:** Oh well then, bye, Cloud.

*Cloud hits his head on the wall to see if it was a dream or something. The crown mushroom thing falls off. Look back at the mirror.*

**Cloud:** Ah, finally. Time for some hair gel…

*Castlevania dormitory*

**Simon:** Hey, Richter! Don't you just love watching a vampire's blood drip from its chest?

**Richter:** Ah, so satisfying! Truly beautiful.

**Simon:** Oh, is that the sound of a vampire screaming?

**Richter:** *hears noise* Honestly, I'm kinda curious.

**Simon:** I am too. Let's follow it!

*both follow scream*

**Dracula:** Bleh bleh bleh. Why are all of you other vampires shouting? Bleh bleh bleh.

**Vampire:** Uh, boss, I really wish you were able to see you reflection right now.

**Dracula:** Bleh bleh bleh. Why? Bleh bleh bleh.

**Other vampire:** Well, you kinda look like a, er, well-

**Simon and Richter:** *run in* A _princess_?!

**Dracula:** Bleh bleh bleh. Yeah, what about a princess? Bleh bleh bleh.

**Simon:** Wait. Dracula? Is that you?!

**Richter:** No. It can't be. Right?

**Dracula:** Bleh bleh bleh. Yeah, of course it's me. Bleh bleh bleh.

**Simon and Richter:** Aaaaaaaak! *run away screaming*

**Dracula:** Bleh bleh bleh. Well? Bleh bleh bleh

**Other other vampire:** Oh, uh, it's fine. All I have to do is- *hit dracula REALLY hard on the head; crown falls off*

**Dracula:** Bleh bleh bleh. WHAT THE, uh, HECK WAS THAT FOR?! Bleh Bleh Bleh.

**Other Vampire:** Boss! You're back to normal!

*Pokemon Dormitory (a.k.a. campsite)*

**Red (Pokemon Trainer):** Goooood morning! How's everyone?

**Gold:** I'm good.

**Silver:** I've been up for, like, an hour already.

**Hilbert:** Something seems wrong…

**Silver:** Oh no! A climatic mystery! _Seriously_?

**Other Lucas:** I don't understand. Why do I have to go by "Other Lucas"?

That "original" guy's game only came out like, less than a year before mine. Help me Arce-

**Brendon:** What?

**Other Lucas:** Oh god! ** Y**. Arceus! What happened, my lord?

**Arceus:** Huh?

**Dawn:** It seems like you-

**Barry:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Arceus:** Seriously, you guys are acting like I not a literal god.

**Mewtwo:** Mirror Move!

**Arceus:** oh no

*Arceus(ette?) walks into tree casually. Crown falls off.*

**Other Lucas:** … hi guys.

**Mario (quietly):** *spying on conversation from distance* Wow. That-a work very well-a Toadette. Thank-a you.

**Bowser:** Heh heh, yeah, pretty awkward, like your face! reKt.

**Peach:** That was not a burn.

**Bowser:** Uh, yeah it was. Your face! ohhhhhhhhhhh

**Peach:** Just saying "your face" doesn't mean you're roasting someone.

**Bowser (loudly):** YES IT DOES!

**Red (pokemon Trainer):** Uh, is someone watching us?

**Silver:** *points toward a bush* Yes.

**Psyduck:** Psy-eye-eye! (I knew I could sense something!)

**Lucario:** You're not a psychic!

**Ness:** But I am! pK ThuNdeR

**Leaf (Pokemon Trainer):** Uh, how did you get here?

**Ness:** Ness goes where Ness wants to go.

**Mario:** I'm-a not even sure what's-a going on anymore.

**Luigi:** help

**Paula:** *runs in* Ness! There you are!

**Jeff:** The entire dorm was looking for you! Even that millennial guy with the snake!

**Poo:** Ninten thought you were dead.

**Paula:** Oh, yeah! And then Lucas started crying and Kumatora punched him REALLY HARD!

**Ness:** OKEY

**Jeff:** Uhhhg! Stop saying okey!

**Ness:** OKEY, I mean, sure.

**Blue:** Okay I'm not even sure what's going on anymore.

**Jeff:** Come on. Let's go back.

**Ness:** OKE-sure.

*Mother 2 guys head back to the dormitory.*

**Mario:** Well-a, if-a we-a already saw their reactions, let's-a head back.

*Mario characters follow behind Mother 2 characters.*

**Red (Pokemon Trainer):** Well, at least this commotion is all over, right?


	4. Lucas Goes Vegan

*At breakfast…*

**Green Inkling:** Uh, why does Lucas look so sad?

**Ridley:** Duh, he's always sad.

**Green Inkling:** He looks extra sad now.

**Joker:** Eh, probably nothing. *continues blasting hardcore metal*

**Green Inkling:** should ask ask him if he's- What am I thinking? That's a terrible idea.

**Joker:** Yup, sure it is. *continues blasting hardcore metal*

**Ridley:** Just do it if it makes you feel good.

**Lucas:** no

**Meta Knight:** Hi? What happened.

**Lucas:** Well, you know how in my story I "saved nature" or whatever?

**Meta Knight:** What happened. Tell me.

**Lucas:** You know how I like omelets? Kumatora told me I was being "disrespectful" and dared me to go vegan for the rest of the school year.

**Dark Pit:** oof

**Green Inkling:** That's actually kinda harsh.

**Meta Knight:** So… Now you're stuck with those gross egg replacements?

**Lucas:** I'll just not eat at all. Easy, right?

**Ridley:** And you agreed to this?

**Lucas:** Yeah…

**Ridley:** You are not my friend.

**Lucas:** So?

**Ridley:** … Nevermind.

**Joker:** *takes off headphones* Huh? What happened?

**Green Inkling:** Lucas is a vegan.

**Joker:** I don't even want to know how that happened.

**Master Hand:** Five minutes!

**Meta Knight:** Stupid taco rule! *jumps off of Lucas' shoulder and runs under table to eat tacos*

**Please Note: Meta Knight is only nine inches tall. The average thirteen-year-old boy is around five foot two. THIS IS NORMAL.**


	5. Ralsei Gets Cursed

*Some time after breakfast; Dormitories for games with just students*

**Ralsei:** *checks email*

**To: Dark Prince Of Kindness**

**From: John Cena**

**Subject: watch the bee movie.**

**Message:**

**Ralsei:** Kris, what do these eggs mean?

**Kris:** What? *walks over* Oh. It's called a cursed image.

**Ralsei:** Someone is trying to curse me?! Kris! You have to help me! Please.

**Kris:** I… I'll just get Susie. I think she knows?

*later*

**Susie:** Wow. Just wow. _John Cena_? _Watch the Bee Movie_? Not to mention this legit cool image, this is what I call a meme lord.

**Ralsei:** BUT WHO IS JOHN CENA?! WHY IS THERE A MOVIE ABOUT BEES?! WHAT IS GOING ON?!

**Susie:** Boy, you've got a LOT to learn.

*later at lunch*

**Meta Knight:** Are you SURE you don't want anything to eat?

**Lucas:** I- I'm fine.

**Ridley:** You have to eat something unless you want to die. Then _I_ can eat _you_.

**Lucas:** …

**Joker:** *sings along to music* AAAAIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!

**Ridley:** SHUT UP.

**Joker:** Bruh. *keeps screaming*

**Green Inkling:** This feels like home. Ahh.

*Lucario walks up to table.*

**Meta Knight:** Dude, where the heck were you?

**Lucario:** Pokemon Trainer sent me to my Poke Ball for a while for "bad language".

**Meta Knight:** What does that even mean anymore?

**Lucario:** I dunno.

*Undertale/ Delta Rune table*

**Ralsei:** I-I-I can't t-take it any m-more!

**Sans:** This is gonna be good.

**Ralsei:** *jumps on table* JOHN CENA REVEAL YOURSELF.

*cafeteria goes into silence*

**Ralsei:** *notices Little Mac* Hey, you! Wrestler! Your life is fake! Why are you trying to curse me? I have a scarf and I WILL use it.

**Little Mac:** … I´m a boxer.

**Ralsei:** Youŕe a traitor to me, JOHN CENA.

**Lancer:** What happened to Dr. Toothpaste? Did he meet a toothbrush?

**Susie:** … #$% him.

**Lancer:** Yeah. Did you hear _that_?

**Sans:** CI CI CI CI CI (campus inappropriate)

**Susie:** Inappropriate? What does that mean?

**Papyrus:** Well, inappropriate means-

**Sans:** I think she was being sarcastic

*Ralsei proceeds to attack Little Mac.*


	6. Steve Gets Angry

*some time after lunch*

**Kirby:** Poyo! (Listen up! I've gathered a team meeting to get the gist of what's going on. Someone, PLEASE tell me who was junk mailing that Delta Rune guy.)

**Villager:** Hi.

**Kirby:** Poyo! (Waaaait… It was _you_?!)

**Villager:** Hi. *starts dancing*

**Kirby:** Poyo! (Ohhhkay?)

**Ness:** OKEY

**Lucas (quietly):** Oh, come on!

**Kirby:** Poyo! (Okay then, well…)

**Ness:** OKEY

**Jeff:** I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP AND STOP SAYING THAT!

**Meta Knight:** And… Whose idea was it to have a team meeting?

**Kirby:** …

*meanwhile on the other team*

**Mario:** The other team is-a having a meeting, so I-a declared one-a too.

**Toad:** *starts laughing* yAy TeaMwoRK

**Peach:** Waait, is it... friday?

**Luigi:** oh no

**All Toads and Toadette:** _burp_

**Bowser:** We SERIOUSLY need a "free Friday" ban. YOUR FACE.

**Mario:** As I was-a saying, for-a fairness purposes, I've-a got to take away you all-student dormitories.

**Master Chief:** WHAT?!

**Steve:** Uh, can I talk to your manager?

**Jonsey (quietly):**

I hate humanity

Everyone Looks down on me

Now I'm crying

**Roblox Noob:** America! Oh, wait, I'm supposed to be sad. I'm sad.

**Steve:** C'mon. Let's get back to our dorms.

*Fortnite defaults start Default Dancing out the door*

*all-student dormitory characters exit*

**Mario:** Well-a, now that's over with, this-a meeting is-a over.


	7. Lucas Eats Soup

*later at dinner*

**Lucas:** *starts breathing heavily* Can't… eat… eggs… Can't eat… Uhg! I can't take it anymore!

**Ridley:** Then eat the stinking omelettes!

**Lucas:** BUT I'M A VEGAN!

**Lucario:** You don't have to be. Just ! #$ out on those omelettes if you want to!

**Lucas:** BUT I CAN'T.

**Dark Pit:** Why am I wasting my meaningless life with this soup?

**Lucas:** give… it… to… me.

**Dark Pit:** staving is meaningless in my pointless life. *gives Lucas soup*

**Ridley:** So NOW you start talking to other people?!

**Green Inkling:** Does that LOOK like a human to you?

**Ridley:** Humanoid with wings. Humans, humanoids, half humans, hybrid humans, elemental humans, undead humanoids, all the same.

*Angry screaming can be heard from under the table.*

**Joker:** They're just tacos! Let me enjoy my music for a change.

**Dark Pit:** What has my life come to? I'm stuck in this place in this war, staving, anger.

**Everyone else at the table:** …


	8. Dr Lobe Forgets Fire Safety

*the next day at 1st period in Dr Lobe's class*

**Dr Lobe:** Welcome! Welcome to another day of battle concentration class. Today we'll be learning how to avoid noise distractions. Any questions?

**Skull Kid:** Why are you yellow?

**Dr Lobe:** yes. Okay, who wants to go first?

*No one raises hand.*

**Dr Lobe:** Okay, then let us look up to the random name generator. *generates name on computer* Do we have a Michael in here?

**Class:** …

**Dr Lobe:** Uh, Golden Freddy, uh, Octoling Boy, and, uh, Minecraft Blaze. Come up.

*Golden Freddy, Octoling Boy, and Minecraft Blaze approach the front of the classroom.*

**Dr Lobe:** Okay, now you two start fighting while Blaze can just stand there and make fire noises.

*A few minutes later…*

**Dr Lobe:** And that is how you deal with indoor fires!

**Class:** …

*bell rings*

**Dr Lobe:** Uh, okay, class is over.


	9. Shulk Makes a Storm

**Chapter Nine: Shulk Makes a Storm**

*Meanwhile in the Kirby dorm…*

**Meta Knight:** *aggressively hits XBox controller* Take that, noobs!

**Morpho Knight:** Wha- huh? How are you doing this?

**Dark Meta Knight:** Yes. You are dead.

**Galacta Knight:** Dieeeeeeeee! Oh shoot, I died.

**Meta Knight:** Don't mess with me.

*knocking can be heard on the door*

**Meta Knight:** Who want to get it. *kills Morpho Knight in game*

*No one says anything.*

**Meta Knight:** Morpho, you do it you're not a skin.

**Morpho Knight:** *throws controller* Fine. *walks over to door and opens it*

**Axe Knight:** Help!

**Trident Knight:** Meta Knight! Meta Knight! Lord, you must help us!

**Meta Knight:** *pauses game* What the heck happened?

**Mace Knight:** It's raining and we need to take shelter.

**Javelin Knight:** Please, Lord Master Sir Meta Knight. Please help us!

**Meta Knight:** Well, of coarse Master Hand made you guys sleep on the roof. Fine, come in.

**Meta-Knights:** Thank you Lord Master Sir.

**Meta Knight:** Whatever. Just get comfortable. Build a blanket fort or something.

**Meta-Knights:** Yay!

**Galacta Knight:** Can we keep playing?

**Meta Knight:** Sure. *unpauses game*

**Mace Knight:** Can we play too?

**Meta Knight:** … No. Pro gamers only.

*Meanwhile, at the other team…*

**Mario:** MWA HA HA HA HA! Good job-a Shulk.

**Shulk:** You're acting like I'm not a literal god of everything.

**Mario:** But-a you made it rain!

**Shulk:** Literal. God.

**Mario:** I-a know but it's-a so cool!

**Shulk:** Why do you even want me to be doing this, anyway?

**Mario:** This entire thing is-a Meta Knight ́s fault. I´m-a getting revenge.

**Shulk:** If this mean revenge, I'M REALLY FEELING IT!

**Entire Mario Team:** Yeah!

**Mario:** Mwa ha ha ha ha ha. We ́re-a two-to-zero against those-a noobs. Let ́s-a see how this-a goes. Heh heh.

*At lunch…*

**Green Inkling:** Meta Knight is wet. Why.

**Meta Knight:** Stupid Master Hand made my clan mates sleep on the roof because the dorm was full.

**Lucario:** Oh, oh, OH I get it. It rained today so…

**Meta Knight:** yup.

**Lucas:** Master Hand sucks.

**Ridley:** I think we all know that.

**Lucas:** Recently, Dr. Mario diagnosed my acquaintance with an allergy to dragons, so he banned D&D from the dorm, which was, like, my ONLY WAY to have fun, since I don't use technology.

**Green Inkling:** Uh, how is someone allergic to humans pretending they're elves and throwing dice at people?

**Lucas:** Like I said, Master Hand sucks.

**Dark Pit:** He made me sleep in a dorm room with Light Pit.

**Ridley:** Ha ha. Oof.

*The Wii Fit Trainers walk by the table.*

**Female Wii Fit Trainer:** *knock Joker´s headphones on the ground* That's bad for you.

**Joker:** Hey, what the…

**Male Wii Fit Trainer:** *hits Dark Pit violently on the back* Fix your posture!

**Dark Pit:** Ow that hurt.

**Female Wii Fit Trainer:** *notices Lucas* Ooh! You went vegan? Good little boy.

**Lucas:** This isn't my decision also I ́m thirteen.

**Meta Knight:** You're on my team. Why are you at my table? Go away Wii Fit Trainers.

**Female Wii Fit Trainer:** We have names, you know.

**Green Inkling:** You do?

**Male Wii Fit Trainer:** Uh, yeah? I ́m Barry and this is Linda.

**Linda:** Yeah, I ́m Linda.

**Lucas:** But there's also a guy named Barry in Pokemon.

**Barry the Wii Fit Trainer:** But there´s also another Lucas.

**Lucas:** SCREW GEN FOUR.

**Lucario:** Eh hem?

**Lucas:** Oh, sorry.

**Lucario:** It's fine. I like being hated.

**Dark Pit:** It's not a choice for me.

**Linda:** It not good for your health negatively. Smile for a change.

**Dark Pit:** No.

**Barry the Wii Fit Trainer:** Imma head out.

**Linda:** Bye Falisha.

**Meta Knight:** Line theft! Hmph.


	10. Palutena Hosts a Sleepover

*Later the next day at the Kid Icarus dormitory…*

**Palutena:** Stop doing that that's edgy.

**Dark Pit:** i am eeeeeddddddgggggyyyyyyy

*Knocking can be heard violently from outside of the building.*

**Pit:** wUt dOEs tHat MeAN

**Palutena:** Just get the door.

**Pit:** i CAn't pIcK iT Up.

**Palutena:** You know what? I'll just get it. *walks out of room and answers the door.*

**Palutena:** Pitooey! I think this one's your's.

**Dark Pit (quietly):** You know you're not my mom. Why do you act like it?

**Palutena:** Just talk to your friends you knucklehead!

**Dark Pit:** My only friend is a speck of dust. His name is-

**Palutena:** META KNIGHT, LUCAS, RIDLEY, NEON SQUID GUY, AND JOKER. YOU'RE _acquaintances_, ARE HERE AND THEY WANT TO TALK TO YOU.

**Dark Pit:** Take them to me.

*Meta Knight and friends walk up to Dark Pit and Pit ́s room.*

**Pit:** wOw! YOu nEVeR toLd mE you hAD FRIENDS!

**Lucas:** Uh, I've shared a room my entire life. I´m not sure if this room is supposed to be gray or gold.

**Dark Pit (quietly):** Ridley, how did you fit through the door.

**Ridley:** ….

**Dark Pit:** Why are you guys even here?

**Meta Knight:** Uh, well, in a way, I guess it's kind of a hard story to explain, but all of our dorms kinda got flooded.

**Dark Pit:** Where ́s Lucario?

**Meta Knight:** In his Pokéball. Also…

**Green Inkling:** Could we by any chance stay the night?

**Dark Pit:** I…

**Pit:** sLEepOveR yAY!

**Joker:** Oh, shoot.

**Dark Pit:** What is it.

**Lucas:** Well, uh, heh heh, let's just say our, uh…

**Green Inkling:** Basically, _their_ entire dorms are, like, right by the door.

*Dark Pit looks out the window.*

**Dark Pit:** Cheez-Its.

**Palutena:** Yeah, uh, just one big teenage sleepover. I make a good parent host, right?

**Pit:** mOM, cAn we oRDeR pIzzA?

**Palutena:** Uhhhhhhhhh, sure. I, uh, I ́ll let the guests in.

**Pit:** THis is GoNna bE FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN!


	11. POV Meta Knight

Dark Pit seems annoyed, but doesn't say anything. His non-legally adoptive mom "elegantly" walks down the stairs and slowly opens the door. Oh no. The voices get louder, louder, louder as my anxiety-ridden sidekick starts to cry. Again. Nooooooooooooooo. And then Dark Pit collapses. I'm not exactly sure what's going on. Too. Much. Stress. No. No. No. I can't take it. The stress causes my mind to go crazy, and then _crack!_ My mask splits in half and tumbles to the floor.

¨Oh, uh, you look good,̈ Lucas says as he stops crying. ̈ ̈Kinda cute, actually.¨

Everyone in the room (who's still conscious, that is) stops and stares at me. Oh no. Currently, I'm actually glad my best friend isn't here right now, cause he's probably be cursing up a storm at this point. And I could hear footsteps commin up the steps.

̈Don ́t worry,̈ Lucas says in a serious voice and locks the door with his psychic powers, kinda like that scene in Stranger Things. ̈ ̈The only problem is your mask.¨

¨We could use Flex Tape!̈ ̈ Green Inkling says as he trips over Dark Pit, who is still sleeping on the ground .

̈Uh, I found this paper bag.¨ Ridley holds it up with tip of his fingernails.

̈ ̈Sure, I guess that works.¨ I put it over my head. ̈Actually, why can't we just use Flex Tape?¨

Joker takes off his headphones. ̈ ̈Don ́t ask, but I might have some Flex _Glue_ with me.¨

̈ ̈Wow!" says Lucas. ̈ ̈Even better!¨

Joker rummages through his pockets and pulls out a container of Flex Glue. ¨Here.¨ He hands it to Green Inkling, who walks over to me drops it on the ground, and walks back.

̈ ̈Just take it. Oh, and let me listen to the beautiful noise of chaos. Ahhhhh.¨

Weirdo. I grab my mask and the Flex glue, face the corner, and put it back together. I place it on my face and turn around. ̈ ̈Here's your Flex Glue, oh, and pretend nothing happened.¨

̈ ̈Sorry, can ́t forget that moment just then,̈ says Ridley.

̈ ̈Okay, I´ll unlock the door now,̈ says Lucas.

Dark Pit wakes up. ̈ ̈Please, Lucas. Don't ́t do it.¨

Pit, who was listening the entire time, suddenly butts in. ̈ ̈HA! grEnINjA iSn't GREeN, he'S BluE!¨

"Can I unlock the door now?"

Dark Pit lets out a quiet sigh. ¨I mean, I guess.¨

The door creaks open. Only seven figures appear at the door.

¨Poyo!¨

Being one of the only ones to translate him on the entire campus, I know that he's saying ̈Back there we made an agreement that only fighters could go to _your_ room, well, and characters with special connections to any of you guys could come, too.¨

He's right. They were all fighters. Kirby, Dedede, Samus, Zero Suit Samus, Dark Samus, and even Ness. But there was one more. With them was a kid that looked almost identical to Lucas. Lucas ́ 16-bit mouth dropped open.

̈Wow. You ́re here.¨

̈Uh, yeah, of course I am. The entire dorm is down stairs.¨

̈That's not what I meant.¨

Pit seemed excited. Dark Pit did _not_. I don't blame him, having to share his DORM ROOM with twelve others, one of which is, like, twenty feet tall. Don't blame him at _all_ there. Not to mention, Dedede snores _really_ loud, Lucas and his brother both suffer moderate insomnia, and Green won't fall asleep unless there's a certain amount of ̈chaotic ̈ noises, which could easily be fueled by Joker´s hardcore metal. I bet he's gonna love this night. _Just love it_.

Palutena made some weird negotiation with Master Hand that we could just ̈order in pizza ̈ instead of actually going to the cafeteria to EAT LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE. By the time the ̈pizza ̈ comes, everyone's already prepared for the night. The second we hear knocking, everyone just stops what they're doing. Palutena orders Dark Pit to get it. Oof. The poor little edgy boi.


	12. Gemma Delivers the Pizza and Meets HIM

*Dark Pit opens the door.*

**Junior Cafeteria Worker:** Hi! I ́m Gemma. I can tell you ordered a pi- Oh my god! _You_ answered the door, my husbando!

**Dark Pit:** wut

**Gemma:** You know, the anime boy a girl has a crush on, like _you_!

**Dark Pit:** Can I just get the pizza?

**Gemma:** Funny story, actually. I was born in this crazy place called Seattle and my mom was really weird and she supported PETA but she didn't like vaccines so I caught tetanus and when I got better I ran from home by taking an Uber and ended up in Colorado where I stole a dog and sold it so I could pay for McDonald's Happy Meals because I was seven but I ran out of money so I tried shoplifting from a KFC and was taken to foster care and the guys were furries but they had a kid who was a gamer and his name was Wolf he was my age and we ran away together and snuck on a train and it ended up going to California were I discovered Nintendo America and started protesting Mother 3 localization and Wolf got hit by a car and it was a but he survived and was taken home and while I was standing there I heard a call from the heavens but it wasn't God it was Master Hand and he wanted me to work here because he was watching from Nintendo America and he liked my personality.

**Dark Pit:** Yeah, great. Can I get the pizzas?

**Gemma:** *blushes* Oh, right. Take them. ️

**Dark Pit:** *****takes boxes of pizza* Thanks?

*back upstairs*

**Ridley:** What took you so long?

**Dark Pit:** Fans.

**Kirby:** Poyo! (Aww, you ́re loved!)

**Dark Pit:** Not even the darkness loves me.

**Lucas:** I love you! Wait, WAIT, I did NOT mean to say that.

**Ness:** *raises nonexistent eyebrows* Ooooooooooo Lucas has a crush!

**King Dedede:** Dang, I need some wooder.

**Zero Suit Samus:** Uh, did you just say ̈wooder¨?

**Dedede:** So what if I'm from South Philly?

**Everyone:** _Gasp_!

**King Dedede:** Well, where are _you_ guys from? New York? Dallas? Boston? Denver?

**Green Inkling:** I think Mac's from NY. Sound like a nice place.

**King Dedede:** It is NOT.

**Meta Knight:** Soooo, uh, now that we're all at this sleepover, what do y'all wanna do?

**Lacas and Claus:** Don't do drugs.

**Meta Knight:** Yes, good life advice, but… why now exactly?

**Masked Man/ Claus:** Dad would always tell us that before we slept over with Fuel.

**Meta Knight:** Sure.

**Kirby:** Poyo! (Ooh, ooh! Can we play Truth or dare? Please please PLEASE?)

**Dark Pit:** Just do whatever you want.

**Kirby:** Poyo! (Okay, then-)

**Ness:** OKEY (PSI allows me to talk to animals.)

**Kirby:** Poyo! (As I was saying, Samus, truth or dare.)

*Meta Knight Translates Kirby's dialogue.*

**Zero Suit Samus:** Uh-

**Kirby:** Poyo! (No, I meant _suit _Samus.)

*Meta Knight translates again.*

**Zero Suit Samus:** Uh, that's just my suit. There's no one in it. I brought it as a sleeping bag.

**Kirby:** Poyo! (Oh, sorry. Then I'm asking you.)

*Meta Knight translates.*

**Zero Suit Samus:** Hmm, how about truth.

**Kirby:** Poyo! (Well, let's see. What's your favorite type of cheese cake?)

*Meta Knight translates.*

**Zero Suit Samus:** Lame question, but, hmmm, I gotta say lemon. Soo, uh, Joker, truth or dare.

**Joker:** *takes off headphones* Dare.

**Zero Suit Samus:** You're a teenager. You get this game, so I dare you to go down stairs and start beatboxing in front of everyone.

**Joker:** Uh, what?

**Zero Suit Samus:** You heard me. Do it or face the consequences.

**Joker:** Uhhhh, uhhh, um, uh, sure.

*awhile later*

**Joker:** Okay, that's it. Of coarse Lucas' "special friend" is a person. Why does Dark Pit have to be allergic to cats?!

**Ness:** I believe it is rightfully your turn to ask someone.

**Joker:** *puts headphones back on* Right. Dedede, truth of dare.

**King Dedede:** Why y'all pickin on me, cause I'm Pliladelphian? Philly's a great place, Idunno whats wrong with y'all. Anyway, I'll go with dare.

**Joker:** Hmm, let ́s see… I dare you to watch Teletubbies for thirty minutes.

**King Dedede:** *does weird eyes pop out thing* WHAAAAT?! Fine, I guess I ́ll try. *slowly get out A10e and saldy turns on Netflix and starts watching* Uhhhhhg, while I'm at it, Lucas, truth or dare.

**Lucas:** Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, truth?

**King Dedede:** Well, my little butter ball, let's see what I can do. Hmm, ah, yeah, dat sounds good. Heh heh.

**Lucas:** W-what is it, sir?

**King Dedede:** How many specific mental things do ya have, and go into detail.

**Lucas:** H-hey! That's personal information!

**King Dedede:** Sorry kid, but that's what happens when ya choose truth.

**Lucas:** Uhg, fine. *anxiety builds up* Well, I have six types of anxiety: Moderate generalized anxiety, severe phobias, moderate OCD, moderate social anxiety, mild PTSD, and extremely mild panic attacks. I also have severe depression. And some behavioral things I prefer not to mention. That's enough, right?

**King Dedede:** That's what's gonna happen to me if I keep watchin this.

**Meta Knight:** That´s not funny!

**Ridley:** Chill out. If you keep worrying about that little Corn Pop you ́re gonna become attached.

**Lucas:** Explain to me why I´m a Corn Pop.

**Ridley:** Well… nevermind.

**Lucas:** Tell me.

**Claus/Masked Man:** Yeah, tell him.

**Ridley:** I don't ́t know, you're small and have a lot of yellow pixels?

**Lucas:** Eh, whatever. It ́s my turn to ask someone. Hmm. Ness, my all time rival, will you choose truth or dare.

**Ness:** I think this is a one way rivalry, but I will go with dare.

**Lucas:** I dare you to give me the leadership of the MOTHER dorm.

**Ness:** W-w-w-WHAT?! I-I can ́t do th-that! You know my game came before your ́s. Not to mention, I ́m a hero! You ́re just a world destroyer. You also have all those mental things holding you back from being a leader.

**Lucas:** First of all, if the first thing you said was true, Ninten should be incharge. The second thing you said, however, was just a big old lie. I didn't destroy the world, I _recreated _it. And anyway, my "mental things" don't hold me back from anything. Don't face the consequences.

**Ness:** I go with the consequences! I'll do anything to protect my leadership.

**Meta Knight:** I'm the one in charge of consequences. Dark Pit, will you?

**Dark Pit:** Sure. ELECTRO SHOCK.

**Ness:** Oww! Can we stop playing and just have the dang pizza?

**Meta Knight:** Sure, but I can't have any, so try not to make me suffer.

**Lucas:** Well, Master Hans isn't here, right? I'm pretty sure you can break the taco rule if he's not looking.


	13. Dedede Gets Some Wooder

*Meta Knight slowly picks up a slice of water mixture pizza, faces the wall, and eats it.*

**Meta Knight:** This is… not a taco. It tastes so… This is the best food I ever had.

**Kirby:** Poyo! ( But what about the good times of Return to Dreamland? We got to share all kinds of food like Metamatos, lollipops, meat, and other delicious cuisine!)

**Lucas:** Actually, the word ̈cuisine ̈ means ̈kitchen ̈ in Italian.

**Meta Knight:** My senses are coming back to me! I can taste other than spicy and savory. Sweet. Sour. Salty. Acidic. Bacon (yes, bacon is its own taste).

**Green Inkling:** I´m gonna say it now. Having Mario as your leader _sucks_. The other Inklings don't believe me when I tell them how annoying Mario is. They see him as a, _gasp_, hero.

**Ridley:** Bruh.

**Palutena:** *walks into room* Angel boys! It ́s almost ten at night. Go. To. Bed.

**Green Inkling:** CREEPER

**Entire Room:** AWWW MAN

**Palutena:** Wh- What was that? Are you trying to confuse me so you can stay up later?

**Dark Pit:** Please leave. We would enjoy going to sleep.

**Palutena:** Don ́t do anything stupid. *slams door*

**King Dedede:** I´m still thirsty.

**Green Inkling:** My ink might quench your thirst…

**Meta Knight:** Don't do it!

**Dark Pit:** Bathroom. Sink. Water.

**King Dedede:** Imma get me some WOODER! *walks to bathroom*

**Meta Knight:** So, you all wanna set up for a night of chaos?

**Green Inkling:** Neh, I ́m pulling an all nighter.

**Ridley:** You do know that if you do that, LITERALLY EVERYONE will be forced to listen to you. You know that. I know you know.

**King Dedede:** *walks in* Mmmm, wooder.

**Ness:** Can I hear a story?

**Lucas and Claus/Masked Man:** Oh god no.

**Meta Knight:** You know, now that I think about it, having identical twins say the exact same thing at the exact same time is actually kinda creepy.

**Lucas and Claus/Masked Man:** It is?

**Meta Knight:** Okay, just stop.

**Ness:** Can I hear a story?

**Meta Knight:** Uhhh, who wants to tell this kid a story?

**Everyone:** …

**Lucas:** I want YOU to do it.

**Claus/ Masked Man:** Yeah, YOU do it.

*twins fist bump*

**Meta Knight:** Seriously?

**Twins:** Yes.

**Meta Knight:** UHG, fine.

Uh, once upon a time there was, er, a boy. He had no name and he was ten years old. His father was, um, a baker or something like that and he lived with him and worked as his apprentice. One day, another boy by the name of Jack was chosen by a magical, uh, sword to save the world from a, a, a wolf. Yeah, a wolf. And it was, like, really big. Jack ́s dad went and told the original boy ́s dad to make him food for the journey but instead of making the food he sent his son to cook for Jack on his quest. The boy met up with Jack ́s other helpers. They were a girl named… uh, er, um, what ́s a girl ́s name?

**Kirby:** Poyo! (I want her to be named Charli!)

**Meta Knight:** Sure.

The girl's name was Charli and she was Jack ́s backup fighter. The fourth kid was named… Striker. Yeah, Striker. He used enchantments or whatever. They went on a journey up a mountain. One morning, the boy woke up to see that Jack was dead and-

**Ridley:** Woah! Keep it PG!

**Meta Knight:** Whatever.

Jack ́s body was lying on the ground covered in blood, and his sword was missing. Charli was now in charge of the group. With one less party member, the boy whose name I couldn think of learned to use his frying pan and kitchen knife as weapons. When he woke up in a few nights, Charli was, uh, gone, along with her axe and Striker ́s death enchantment. The boys guessed she had left to fight the really big wolf alone. Striker, uh, used his enchantment to make the boy whose name I couldn think of ́s knife into a sword and his frying pan into um, a, a, er, a flying pan?

**Joker:** I´ve been listening in for a while. What the heck is a flying pan?

**Meta Knight:** It's frying pan with wings.

The boy used his sword and FLYING PAN to fight off enemies until they finally got to where they were told to go and… Striker fell in a river. The boy whose name I couldn think of was standing alone on top of the mountain when a really big wolf appeared. He, uhhhh, killed it with his bare hands to reveal it was actually… uh, er, uh, um, Charli ́s body that had been possessed by an amorphous being that chose to shift into a wolf. Basically, he killed his friend, so-

**Ridley:** What the hel- HECK is wrong with you? You're gonna give this kid nightmares!

**Meta Knight:** See, look. He's already sleeping. C ́mon. Let's all just go to bed.


	14. Mr Resetti Scares a Hedgehog

*the next day*

**Lucas:** Claus! You gotta get up! It's Monday and you're gonna late for class!

**Claus/Masked Man:** Crap.

*twins run out of building*

**Villager:** Lucas, watch out!

*As the twins leap out of the way, a stampede of angry-looking animals runs by.*

**Sonic:** Haha! Bet I could outrun them! *runs in front of stampede* Haha! Too slow! This cant stop me! *runs on top of Mr. Resetti trying to dig*

**Mr Resetti:** WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!

**Sonic:** Huh? *gets run over*

**Villager:** uwu

**Sonic:** W-was that a prank?

**Villager:** Yes.

*Everyone watching on Kirby ́s team cheers.*

**Kirby:** *appears* Poyo! (Wow, Villager! You really are a savior to our team!)

**Villager:** I know, but we'll still probably lose.


	15. The Inklings Get Dunked On

*The eight Inklinings that officially graduated (the skins) walk in single-file to the Pokemon campsite/ dormitory.*

**Inkling Girl:** Remember, all you have to do is ink the site, but don't ink EVERYTHING. Just do some graffiti or something.

**Green Inkling:** Heh heh, sorry Lucario.

**Inkling Girl:** And yall are only allowed to talk in Woomy.

**Green Inkling:** Aw, come on!

**Inkling Girl:** I don't care if that doggo taught you how to curse in English, Japanese, Spanish, Mandarin, French, Latin, German, Korean, Arabic, Portuguese, and Hebrew. Only talk in the holy language of Woomy.

**All Inklings (in Woomy):** Understood.

*Inklings approach the campsite*

**Inkling Girl (in Woomy):** Three, two, one, PAINT!

*paint reflects back at her face*

**Mewtwo:** Don't mess with our dormitory.

**Indigo Inkling (in Woomy):** That was mirror move.

**Yellow Inkling (in Woomy):** I'm a secret agent imma sneak out of here. Sneak sneak sneak sneak sneak sneak sneak.

**Lucario:** You will do no sneaking. Aura!

**Green Inkling (in Woomy):** Uh, this is awkward.

**Purple Inkling:** sksksk sksksksksk sksksk

**Note: There is no Woomy equivalent for the VSCO noise.**

*In the dormitory for games without fighters, which is right next to the Pokemon campsite, Sans watches through a window at the violence.*

**Sans:** Papyrus, Papyrus.

**Papyrus:** Yes, brother?

**Sans:** Watching violence?

**Papyrus:** No, brother.

**Sans:** Telling lies?

**Papyrus:** Oh no not that meme.

**Sans:** TELLING LIES?!

**Papyrus:** Fine. No, brother.

**Sans:** Well, you should watch them.

**Papyrus:** I will go watch them and I will be superior!

*back at the campsite*

**Red (Pokemon Trainer):** *shows up in MLG glasses* We have you cornered. Don't vandalize our property. We ́re taking you al into custody.

**Inklings:** ?

**Red (Pokemon Trainer):** Basically, we ́re taking you captive.

**Inkling Boy:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Green Inkling:** Uh, where?

**Red (Pokemon Trainer):** Metroid Dorm. On request of Ridley.

**Green Inkling:** Oh, come on.

**Leaf (Pokemon Trainer):** *also wearing MLG glasses* He told us it was ̈personal ̈.

**Red (Pokemon Trainer):** Come on. Let's go.


	16. Samus Finds Captives in Her Dorm

*lunch*

*Meta Knight's clique sits quieter than usual.*

*after a while…*

**Dark Pit (quiety):** Why it so quiet.

**Lucario:** Never thought _you_ would break the god damn silence.

**Meta Knight:** Something ́s wrong here I can feel it.

**Lucas:** Oh yeah. Green ́s not here.

**Lucario:** He is? I didn't notice.

**Meta Knight:** Neither is Ridley.

**Lucas:** Dark Pit was right. This _is_ really quiet.

**Joker:** Do you want me to unplug my headphones?

**Meta Knight:** If you want to see what a sword beam feels like, go ahead.

**Lucas:** What _does_ it feel like?

**Lucario:** It feels like ! #$%^&! #$! . Felt it plenty of times.

**Lucas:** Great.

*meanwhile, Metroid dormitory*

**Purple Inkling:** Why am I wasting my life with this?

**Green Inkling:** If you play that fu-freaking song one more time-

**Ridley:** Relax. *continues to blast Baby Shark at full volume*

**Indigo Inkling:** Being taken captive didn't sound that bad, but _this_, this is hell.

**Inkling Girl:** *releases a depressed sounding woomy* Sure.

**Samus:** *knocks on door* Why do I hear the letters D and O over and over again in your room? What's happening?

**Inklings:** woomy

**Samus:** Did I just hear a woomy?

**Ridley:** Prank war purposes.

**Inklings:** woomy

**Samus:** What do you mean ̈prank war purposes ̈?

**Ridley:** Feel free to come in.

**Inklings:** Woomy alert! We've got a code woomy!

**Ridley:** Say that word one more time or I turn the volume up.

**Samus:** *walks in* The heck?

**Inkling Girl:** Prepare your woomy!

**Samus:** ?

**Inkling Girl:** Attack with all of your woomy!

*Each Inkling sends a single splat of ink.*

**Samus:** Hey! I just washed this armor, you know.

**Inklings:** wOoooOOoooooOOOOooooooOOoMy

**Ridley:** It's too much woomy!

**Green inkling:** Dang, I've always wanted to do this. *woomy intensifies*

**Inkling Girl:** Now is our chance to escape. Quick! Get to the Vroomies!

**Green Inkling:** Can't we just run?

**Magenta Inkling:** Or squid?

**Inkling Boy:** Maybe we should just punch a hole in the sieling.

**Other Inklings:** Huh?

**Inkling Boy:** You know, super jump?

**Inkling Girl:** That would work.

**Teal Inkling:** Haven't you learned not to trust him?

**Inkling Girl:** Let's just run.

*Inklings run out of building*

**Inkling girl:** One more thing. *writes _woomy_ on the side of the dorm*


	17. POV Lucas

The squad. We've always been that one group everyone is afraid of. That one group everyone one sees and thinks ̈Oh dang, its them.¨ when they see us. That's us. Been one of them since I arrived here. Here's the basic story.

I had been transported from the darkness. It was weird, and my eyes REALLY hurt from the sudden change of hue. It was very light. I didn't like it very much. Because of this, the first thing I did was go to sit in the darkest corner I could find.

As a new student to this, I, obviously, had to attend my first class. I don't remember much but I think my homeroom teacher was Professor Elm. He taught a class about special abilities and, let me tell you, he was REALLY bad at it. I mean, he knew what he was talking about, but he just couldn't _stop_ talking about it. Didn't even realize he had a new kid until class was three quarters over. Wow. However, when he DID realize me, that's another story.

"Oh," He had said. "I didn't realize it, but today, class, we have a new student." He glared at me. "What's your name again? I forget. Tell me your name, series, and anything else you'd like us to know."

I wanted to pull a Needle on him. "Uh, I'm Lucas. I'm from the MOTHER series. Mother 3, specifically. A fun fact about me: Half my family is dead and I think I just killed the other half before I arrived here. I have… issues."

I remember some of my classmates. Dark Meta Knight, Glass Joe, Doom Guy, the spider from Centipede, Knuckles, that creepy thing from World of Goo, Laura Croft, Tom Nook, and a bunch of other guys I don't remember. Anyway, basically all of them looked confused by "issues". That's kinda what I was going for, I think.

Professor Elm let me sit down, but then just kept on ranting about his job until first period started. The day went pretty blandly, pretty much every teacher making me introduce myself again and again, but other than that, nothing really happened, well, until lunch.

Here, a new student gets their first meal in their dorm while settling in, so lunch would be my first meal in the cafeteria. I was assigned where to sit before I even entered the building, but while I was in the lunch line, some weird kid dashed up to me with some "good news".

"Hello," they said as they said through panting. "My name is Adora. I am one of the campus helpers or whatever. Don't ask about it, cause it's not child labor. Anyway, I'm here to deliver a message from Master Hand. Basically, he said you've graduated. Let me take you to his office. Potato."

Adora got me to follow her, making me unable to even get a lunch. She seemed pretty okay, definitely better than the kid that delivered my breakfast the morning of that day. That one was one of those kids who just never stopped talking. Went on a whole rant about how he didn't want to be there, and I remember that I tuned him out pretty fast. The one that led me to Master Hand's office, however, was much more chill.

She seemed like she knew the place pretty well. After transporting from one floating island to another a hole bunch of times, she led me to a darker platform. Unlike the other platforms which were detailed and bright, this one was just a plain blue rectangle with a diamond pattern on the ground. There was some weird dark pyramid thing going on at the base. Now I know it as Final Destination. The only thing on it was us, a wooden desk, and a large, disembodied right hand, guarded by another kid around twelve.

Adora walked over to the other kid, the two of them standing paralel. If they weren't pre teens they might actually look like real guards. The disembodied right hand started doing some weird demented cackle at the sight of me.

"So you think you graduated?"

"No actually I was just taken here."

"You must prove yourself worthy to be in the game."

"I just got here."

"Fight me."

I remember staring at the hand thinking _Huh?! How is it possible for a disembodied hand to talk?_, but I ignored it.

"Okay, sure."

Before I had left the Dragon, I was given a bunch of stuff from my friends like new offensive PSI, a Rope Snake, and other weird and useful things. I decided that a huge battle would be the perfect place to try things out.

I forget what actually happened in the battle, but I won. The two kids were already hiding behind the desk by the time it was over. The hand laughed some while bleeding. It was a site I never want to see again. *shiver*

The other kid went up to the hand, got out some plastic straws, and performed some bizarre rituals with them until the hand stopped bleeding. The kid then put the straws back, in his _hair_.

Adora nudged him. "Hey Alex don't use plastic straws; They're not good for the environment."

Alex looked annoyed. "Nacho cheese Oreos."

"I have been defeated," Adora announced.

"I thought I told you to stop it with those stupid memes!", Master Hand had yelled. "Oh, yeah, right. Lucas, you're gonna be in Smash Bros Brawl."

The memory of Adora and Alex fake cheering for me has stuck. When I'm stressed out, I'll just imagine the two of them saying "You're gonna be John Lennon!" and "Delicious." over and over again, and then I get even more stressed.

I missed lunch and was pretty dang hungry the rest of the day. I learned a little bit later from Alex and Adora that graduated fighters don't really do anything during the day. There is an arcade, library, theater, and even a Hot Topic on campus, as well as some other stuff to do in your free time.

I didn't really feel like going to any of those places, so I decided to meet the other fighter in my dorm. As you probably know, I currently hate him, but this was before we met, so I decided it would be fine.

I left my room and walked up to the door with the word "Ness" on it. Master Hand's bodyguards/ meme lords had told me that Ness was the name of the other MOTHER graduate. My old self knocked on the door.

"Come in," a cheerful voice answered, so I foolishly followed what he told me. My awkward new kid self opened the door.

"Oh, you must be that new kid, right? Why aren't you in class?"

"I just graduated."

He gave me a weird look, got out a weird device that I now know as a Wii, and watched some video. It was my character trailer. Seeing it, I went full out rage mode. The other kid seemed annoyed, too.

"Well," he said. "You're in. But please tell me... WHY DO I LOOK SO WEAK IN THAT VIDEO?!"

I had a whole nother question on my mind. I didn't know that kid, so why was he there? I don't use PK Fire. Rope Snake was just a gift from Duster when I left, so why am I ATTACKING with it in the video? "I don't know. I don't even know who you are, besides the fact that you're names Ness."

"Oh." Ness scrutinized me carefully. "Wanna play with me? My roommate, Jeff, is at classes, so I don't really have anyone to talk too. Until now, when everyone left for class, I was just alone. I might go to the arcade every now and then. Wanna come with me? I know being a new kid can be hard. Come on. Let's play!"

"I-I'm good."

"No you're not. You need to play with me."

I ran out of the room. I decided to leave the dorm building and explore a bit. My brain remembered that Alex and Adora told me about a bunch of places to go, but I had no idea what a "Hot Topic" was. I decided to check it out.

The place turned out to be a store with a bunch of graphic Ts and hoodies. Not that bad. I looked around. It all seemed decent, well, until my eyes saw true love. A medium gray DCMC hoodie made of thin and comfortable cotton with a few fake rips in it. I found my size, boy's extra large, and took it to the counter. As I now know, they couldn't get any of the shopkeepers from our games to work _here_, so they was another one of those campus helpers.

"Hello," he said. "I will take your stuff. My name is Syeed. You can just give whatever idem you want to me. I will scan it for you. You can pay in any currency you wish. Rupees, Pokedollars, stars, coins, Power Pills, Rings, anything works."

"Does Dragon Power work?"

"Uh, probably."

"Okay."

He scanned the hoodie and told me it would be 110 DP. I gave the money, he handed it to me. I put it on top of my striped shirt. It was maximum comfort. As I was leaving, I was stopped by a large blue dog-like thing with a small, round guy with a sword sitting on his shoulder. Meta Knight and Lucario.

Lucario put out his foot to trip me, but I'm usually looking down at the floor, so I just stopped.

"You think you look 'edgy' in that hoodie, but you paid full price for it." He glared at me. The odds of me then knowing those two would be my closest friends? Surprising.

I thought for a second. "I've done some terrible things. I've destroyed the world I came from. I killed my friend's parents. I let my brother die. But my mother wouldn't want me to steal, would she?"

Meta Knight jumped off of Lucario's shoulder. He _would have_ looked threatening, if he wasn't nine inches tall. I could probably have killed him if I stepped on him, but I'm not that kind of person.

"Oh no," he teased. "Mommy won't let you?"

"She has no control over me now cause she's dead."

"Oh." Lucario looked kinda guilty.

Meta Knight lowered his sword. "So you were saying that…"

Lucario put his hands together. "I sense a troubled aura. One with a dark past."

I rolled my eyes, even though I don't have pupils. "It's not a big deal. I got over it. It's just death nothing much."

The three of us got into a conversation. Eventually, they let me join them, turning them from a duo to a clique. Yeah, that's how I joined the Edgy Boys. Hot Topic. The most cliche way for edgelords to meet one another. We met Dark Pit performing satanic rituals outside of the cafeteria. We met Green and Ridley together when Green cheated in the arcade and Ridley tried to kill him. I'm not entirely positive how Joker joined, but I think it had something to do with the fact that his friends were at classes and something happened where he had cat hair on him, which Dark Pit is allergic to so one day he comes up to our table holding up a gun saying "This one hit me first." Yup. That's us.


	18. Lucario rides Wacky Ebola Roller Coaster

**As you may have noticed from the reviews and mention of school friends, the Campus Helpers are actually based off of childhood friends. This excludes Gemma, being a character me and Alex created as a joke in a document we called "Lucas' New Teammates". Enjoy the rest of the story. Thanks!**

*the next day; Tuesday*

*In the morning*

*Legend of Zelda Dorm*

**BW Link:** Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood morning, prin-cess.

**Zelda:** Shut up Link.

**All Links:** … *become silent.*

**Zelda:** I was talking about _that_ one. *points to BW Link*

*Other Links continue chatting.*

**Zelda:** _Sigh._ *walks outside*

**Campus Helper:** Sorry, I'm new here. Is this the Splatoon Dorm?

**Zelda:** No, it's Legend of Zelda.

**Campus Helper:** Oh, okay. I'm a delivery person so…

**Zelda:** Heeeeeeeyyyyy, can I ask you a favor?

**Campus Helper****:** Sure.

**Zelda:** Could you do some spying for me?

**Campus Helper:** On… who?

**Zelda:** Meta Knight and whoever he's with. Also, what's your name, kid?

**Campus Helper:** Miguel.

**Zelda:** Okay, Miguel. Deliver whatever you need to Splatoon and meet with me when you're done. Thanks!

*breakfast*

**Meta Knight:** *arrives at table* Gentleman.

**Lucas:** The term "gentleman" implies that the group you are referring to has "manners".

**Green Inkling:** *spits out beverage (coincidentally on Ridley* I apologize.

**Ridley:** WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS-

**Green Inkling:** You're, like, I don't know, twelve feet tall.

**Ridley:** Thirteen.

**Green Inkling:** Uhhhhhhhhhgg

**Lucario:** Pokemon food is ! #$%^& gross.

**Meta Knight:** You can have one of my tacos. They're pork with cilantro, guac, and peco.

**Lucario****:** Sure, bro. *takes taco and starts eating it* I… feel weird. *collapses*

**Lucas:** *starts singing weird song about death*

_The gods hate me so I'll end up back in hell_

_That's pretty obvious, as you can tell_

_For atheists, when you're gone you're dead_

_And I'm not entirely an atheist_

_Death isn't always painful_

_Some people think it's_-

**Meta Knight:** Please. Stop. Also, to be less annoying, tell me what he's thinking.

**Lucas:** *does psychic stuff* Banana.

**Meta Knight:** Excuse me, what.

**Lucas:** He's unconscious. He's getting the kind of dreams you get when you're a little sick and you get those dreams where you see people you know but they are also fictional characters and the colors are inverted and—

**Meta Knight:** We get it. He's getting fever dreams. Why?

*Dark Pit looks unnaturally suspicious.*

**Ridley:** Spill it boy.

**Dark Pit;** I don't know.

**Ridley:** Yeah, I thought so. *holds up tail*

*Lucas starts singing the death song again.*

**Meta Knight:** I usually don't yell at you, but SHUT UP.

*Gemma walks by table.*

**Gemma:** Hey, Darkie!

**Dark Pit:** I never said you could call me that.

**Gemma:** awwww, so cute.

**Dark Pit:** You can't say that you're only seven and a half years old.

**Gemma:** So you think I'm cute?

**Dark Pit:** That just sounds creepy.

**Meta Knight:** Hey, kid! Could you help us with something?

**Gemma:** I'll do anything for my little edgelord…

**Dark Pit:** Sir, could you please get her to leave?

**Meta Knight:** Maybe. Anyway, kid person, my friend here just collapsed. LUCAS DON'T START SINGING. Do you think you could help him?

**Gemma:** Oh. He appears to be unconscious. What was the last thing he ate?

**Meta Knight:** A pork taco. Why?

**Gemma:** Everyone knows that Fighting-Type Pokemon can only comprehend kosher food. Here, let me fix the situation. PK Kosher!

**Lucas:** Did you just use PSI?

**Gemma:** Yeah, I learned it when my mom took away my milk privileges.

**Lucas:** Um… that's great.

*Lucario slowly gets up.*

**Lucario:** The h*ll?

**Gemma:** He's awake! My magic worked!

**Lucario:** Uh, that's great. Why is this child here?

**Dark Pit:** Sir, can she leave now?

**Meta Knight:** Okay, thank you for your help. We would like some alone time.

**Gemma:** Okay, but one more thing.

*Gemma leans over to kiss Dark Pit. In reaction, he gets out his Silver Bow and splits into two bades, scaring the helpless second grader away and temporarily traumatizing her.*


	19. Miguel Goes on a Quest

**Note: For a little fun fact, the "edgy boyz" are actually based off of my fourth grade friend group. We were the one group everyone was afraid of, led by the edgy wise kid. Then there was the quiet kid, and the gamer guy who seemed like he would listen to metal, and the loud crazy kid, and the kid that wasn't scared to curse, and me: that one kid who just sucked up to everyone else and kept making jokes about my anxiety. The Death Song DEFINITELY sounds like something I would do in fourth grade to annoy my friends. And everyone hated me. Good times.**

*some time later*

**Miguel:** Princess lady?

**Zelda:** Oh. Feel free to come in. Also, for future advice, don't assume gen-

**Miguel:** I know who you are.

**Zelda:** Right. Sorry.

**Miguel:** You told me to meet with you.

**Zelda:** Ahh yes. I told you too spy on Meta Knight, did I not?

**Miguel:** You did.

**Zelda:** Good. Could you go over to the Kirby dorm. Youŕe good at spying, right?

**Miguel:** I am a memes lord. I main Ridley. I'm not very quiet. Also, Meta Knight is one of my favorite characters.

**Zelda:** Oh. Oooooooh. I understand. Well, spying on him would be fun, right?

**Miguel:** Is it okay if I fanboy a little?

**Zelda:** Sure. Just act like yourself. That will make him less suspicious. Just act like yourself. Talk to him. Pretend you had a package addressed to him. Then start fanboying. Just act like yourself. Report back to me with any extra information. Got it?

**Miguel:** Uh, sure. But one question.

**Zelda:** What?

**Miguel:** I don't have anything to give him.

**Zelda:** Well, we must do the forbidden, well, you can do it because you're a campus helper. I need you to go to the prison.

**Miguel:** No way…

**Zelda:** That's right. The one where they keep the anime and manga characters that were sent here by fans that Master Hand doesn't want to attend classes. Go there. Find a young man with long blonde hair who looks dead inside. Ask him to make you something. Anything works, as long as it's cool and dangerous. Understand?

**Miguel:** Okay. So I have to find the lead singer of Nirvana?

**Zelda:** No. You'll know what I mean when you see him.

**Miguel:** Okay. *heads towards anime prison*

**It was a rough journey. Poor Miguel had to walk half a mile. He hated it. He traveled for fifteen minutes until he saw his checkpoint. It was a dark, gloomy prison. He took a large gulp of Sprite Cranberry and prepared himself for the worst. A girl around his age stood at the door.**

**Guard:** None shall pass.

**Miguel:** Hey Laila could I go in?

**Laila:** Why?

**Miguel:** I have to talk to the blonde guy who looks dead inside.

**Laila:** Oh. You mean Edward?

**Miguel:** Yeah, him.

**Laila:** Okay, go in. Enjoy your sad visit.

*Laila unlocks the door and Miguel walks in to find Edward.*

**The building was rather sketchy. A boy with turquoise hair sat quietly in a corner reading fanfictions. A weird guy that kinda looked like a buff cricket man Captain America walks up to the turquoise-haired boy.**

**Buff Guy:** Deku stop reading that!

**That was weird enough, but things only got weirder when he saw a giant queue of people lining up to choke a dude with black hair and a blue headband. A sad group of ten-year-olds stood on top of furniture with signs saying "We're Pokemon Characters, too!". Miguel could tell why Master Hand didn't like these guys. Miguel stood firmly in the doorway. The weirdos didn't realize him.**

**Miguel:** Uhh, is there someone in here named Edward who looks like he's dead inside?

*A really big suit of armor starts giggling with a childish voice. Suddenly everyone starts to laugh at the statement.*

**Armor Guy:** He's right here. *points to teenager who fits the description perfectly*

**Miguel:** *walks over* You're Edward right?

**Edward:** Do I really look that sad?

**Miguel:** *five second pause* Yes. Anyway, I have a favor to ask you.

**Edward:** What?

**Miguel:** Can you make me something "cool and dangerous"?

**Edward:** Sure. Be more specific.

**Miguel:** I need to give it to this thing that's only nine inches tall.

**Edward:** I… I have an idea in mind. It is EXTREMELY dangerous, and you must use it wisely.

**Miguel:** Understood.

**Edward:** Here it goes. *claps hands together; transmutes a Samsung Galaxy Note 7*

**Miguel:** Wow…

**Edward:** *Gives Miguel the device* It is explosive. Don't misuse it.

*Miguel bravely takes the device and leaves the dungeon*

**Laila:** How was your sad visit?

**Miguel:** It was okay.

**Miguel set foot to walk another half mile. Fifteen minutes passed and the boy arrived at the main campus. He now had a new goal: to find Meta Knight.** **He went around asking everyone he saw if they had seen him. No one had. He looked around recklessly, until he noticed the little blue guy walking up to one of the dorms. He followed. **

*Meanwhile…*

**Lucas:** Okay, okay, there's something I've GOTTA show ya guys.

**Lucario:** Oh god.

**Lucas:** C'mon. Look. Our dorm was such chaos that we had to put rules on the door. *reads out rules*

_MOTHER Dorm Rules:_

_Mention of parents or guardian figures is strictly forbidden._

_No drugs._

_Mother and Mother 2 Characters: Do not enter a Mother 3 character's dorm without knocking first. You will benefit._

_Respect the disabled._

_Ultimate Chimera is to STRICTLY be kept in its cage at ALL TIMES._

_Mother and Mother 3 Characters: Don't touch the phone unless you have to call 911._

_Don't kill yourself or others._

_No arson._

_Mister Saturns are not beach balls._

_No facism._

_Franklin Badges are for emergency use only._

_No PSI inside the building._

_Do not keep your dorm mates hostage._

_Mother 3 Characters: Do not curse towards the characters of other games in the series._

_Just because you're royalty doesn't make you incharge._

_Mother 3 Characters: Please, keep it all PG._

_Mother and Mother 3 Characters: Never say the word "okey" without permission._

_If you are depressed, please go outside._

_Thank you!_

**Meta Knight:** Umm…

**Green Inkling:** "No facism." I don't want to ask why that is a rule.

**Joker:** Heh, maybe my dorm needs rules, too. No child abuse. Yes. I like that rule.

**Meta Knight:** Mine could have stuff like "No eating people."

**Miguel:** *runs up* META KNIIIIIIIGHT!

**Meta Knight:** Uh…

**Miguel:** I have to give you something. Did you order this? *gives Meta Knight package*

**Meta Knight:** I didn order anything.

**Miguel:** Well, it was addressed to you. Take it anyway. Also, I'M A HUGE FAN.

**Meta Knight:** *takes package* Okay sure.

**Lucas (sarcastically):** Didn't you read the rules? You can't say that word too close to the dorm. Ness will kill you.

**Meta Knight:** Whatever. *opens package* Huh? It's empty.

**Miguel:** WHAAAAAAAT

**Meta Knight:** It's just an empty box.

**Miguel:** But… Oh, crap. I must've dropped it on the way back.

**Meta Knight:** From where?

**Miguel:** Uh, the dungeon.

**Meta Knight:** What were you doing at the dungeon?

**Miguel:** Uh, nothing.

*an explosion can be heard in the distance*

**Lucario:** What the (! #$) ?!

**Ridley:** Hmm, this seems rather odd. I'll go check it out. *flies away* *comes back several seconds later* Something blew up on main campus. It didn't hurt anyone, but it smells like led paint over there.

**Miguel:** Oh god. I should've listened to Edward.

**Meta Knight:** You what?

**Miguel:** I made a deal with Zelda to spy on you and she sent me to the anime dungeon to get some guy to make a gift for you so I could gain your trust. I'm sorry.

**Meta Knight:** What were you gonna give me?

**Miguel:** A… A Samsung Galaxy Note 7. He warned me.

**Meta Knight:** It's okay kid. Everyone makes mistakes. I'm good at dealing with explosions. There's nothing to worry about besides the smell of led paint. And you might get kicked off of campus.

**Miguel:** WHAAAAAAT

**Meta Knight:** It's fine. Technically it's Zelda's fault, right?

**Miguel:** Yeah.

**Meta Knight:** And guess what, you can now work for us infiltrating Zelda!

**Miguel:** Yeah, sounds legit. Want a Sprite Cranberry?\

**Green Inkling:** Actually, yes. *takes a can of Sprite Cranberry*

**Meta Knight:** With us on your side, everything's gonna be fine. Under one condition.

**Miguel:** What is that you say?

**Meta Knight:** Do you know a Campus Helper named Gemma?

**Miguel:** Yeah she tried to propose to my friend Alex once.

**Meta Knight:** Could you help us keep her away from Dark Pit here?

**Miguel:** Uh, sure.

**Meta Knight:** Well kid, ya got yourself a deal.


	20. Kirby Escapes

*lunchtime; yum.*

**Lucas:** "No fascism."

**Ridley:** You are NEVER gonna get over that.

**Green Inkling:** You forgot "No arson."

**Lucas:** And no drugs.

**Green Inkling:** Or murder.

**Lucas:** Or kidnapping,.

**Green Inkling:** Or cussing.

**Lucas:** Oh, you better not do that.

**Lucario:** I can do it right now. #$%

**Lucas:** You violated MOTHER Dorm Rule Fifteen.

**Meta Knight:** So basically we're just giving the middle schoolers a cute little bonding moment. Maybe we should bring that delivery kid over to join their chat.

**Lucas:** #cute #edgy #WHY

**Meta Knight:** You are thousands of years younger than me. You have to accept that grown-ups see you as little.

**Lucas:** But you're like four feet shorter than me.

*Meta Knight gets filled with negative emotions*

*after lunch*

**Meta Knight:** Hey, wanna hang out during the afternoon?

**Joker:** Naw, gotta help my friends cut class. *leaves*

**Lucario:** Sure I'll go with you MK.

**Lucas:** I'm too busy following my rules. I can do whatever I want when there's only two of us there.

**Green Inkling:** Hey Lucas, can I come over and annoy Ness?

**Lucas:** Sure, as long as you follow the rules.

**Dark Pit:** I need to contemplate life. In my bedroom.

**Ridley:** I'm too tall to fit in the Kirby dorm.

*others leave*

**Meta Knight:** Welp Lucario, that leaves just the two of us.

**Lucario:** Waaaaaaait I think I have to pick my son up from the daycare.

**Meta Knight:** You have a kid?

**Lucario:** Yeah. A Riolu. He basically just hatched.

**Meta Knight:** So now you're a father. Great. CAN I BE HIS GODFATHER?

**Lucario:** Sure I guess. Anyway, gotta go. Bye.

**Meta Knight:** Bye, Falisha! (Man, I love dead memes.)

*Meta Knight arrives at his dorm*

**Meta Knight:** Hey Kirby, want me to make some waffles?

*no response*

**Meta Knight:** Oh. He's probably sleeping. *walks to room next to his*

*The room is empty.*

**Meta Knight:** KIRBY WHERE ARE YOU

*Meta Knight checks out King Dedede's room; also empty*

**Meta Knight:** Did I miss a spinoff friday? Wait, it's tuesday. GUYS

*no response; Meta Knight leaves dorm; heads to Pokemon Daycare*

**Meta Knight:** LUCARIO

**Riolu Baby:** Dad is that food

**Lucario:** What? No that's not food. It's you godfather.

**Riolu Baby:** He looks like food.

**Lucario:** Well he's not.

**Baby Riolu:** Can I eat him anyway?

**Lucario:** No. Respect him.

**Riolu:** I will press F.

**Lucario:** So, what do you think of him, MK?

**Meta Knight:** He's cute I guess, but I've got a major problem.

**Lucario:** Oh god.

**Meta Knight:** Kirbo and D disappeared.

**Lucario:** It's probably related to the prank war.

**Meta Knight:** still, don't you think we should find them.

**Lucario:** Fine.

**Baby Riolu:** Can I have some candy?

**Meta Knight:** Shut up kid.

**Lucario:** What did you say to my son?!

**Baby Riolu:** LOL blueberry

**Meta Knight:** The kid thought it was funny.

**Lucario:** Whatever. I'm sick of standing around here. Let's just go.

**Meta Knight:** Being the edgy wise guy, I'm here to ask you one question.

**Lucario:** Uhhhhg, what is it.

**Meta Knight:** You just said "Let's go." But where are we going to?

**Lucario:** You…

**Meta Knight:** Let's just try waiting. You can bring your kid to my dorm. I can make waffles.

**Lucario:** Sounds okay.

*the group leaves*

*meanwhile; retro/arcade dorm*

**Kirby:** Poyo! (Insects are weird.)

**Centipede:** I'm not an insect!

**King Dedede:** Oh really.

**Centipede:** Centipedes are **Scutigeromorpha**s.

***Word DEFINITELY NOT copied from Wikipedia.***

**Kirby:** Poyo! (Wut.)

**King Dedede:** Agreed.

**Centipede:** … … … … Uhhh…

**King Dedede:** This is weird. I'm trying to comprehend the fact that I'm being held captive by a **Scutigeromorpha**. *sighs*

**Kirby:** Poyo! (Let's escape!)

**Centipede:** Nope.

**Kirby:** Poyo! (You will die.)

**Centipede:** Sorry little object that is too round for me to comprehend. I can't let ya do that.

*Kirby hits Centipede's head. Centipede collapses because I can't show death in a K+ fic.*

**Kirby:** Poyo! (Let's go!) *jumps out window*

**King Dedede:** Uhhhhhhhhh *also jumps*

**The King and vacuum boy have officially escaped. Yay. They then go back to their dorm where MK makes everyone some waffles. Centipede gets reported for cutting class.**


	21. POV Gemma

**POV Gemma…**

**Note: This chapter will be a little different, so I'm here to say one thing: Prepare yourself. If you were more into the humor and randomness of other chapters, look away! This covers crushes, something I DISPISE talking about. Hey, wait. If I hate it so much, why am I writing about it? Whatever. Gemma was pestering me about giving her a voice, so here I am writing it. Please take the poll on my profile to help me decide what to do next. Here's a link to it: **** u/12819987/#****. Anyway, try to enjoy…**

Hi my name is Gemma Luna Hellshadow. I am eight years old and live at this really cool place called the Sakurai Academy of Fighting and Fighters. I am a lunch lady apprentice and I love my job. Some people think I'm too happy for my dark backstory, but allow me to tell you.

I was born in this crazy place called Seattle and my mom was really weird and she supported PETA but she didn't like vaccines so I caught tetanus and when I got better I ran from home by taking an Uber and ended up in Colorado where I stole a dog and sold it so I could pay for McDonald's Happy Meals because I was seven but I ran out of money so I tried shoplifting from a KFC and was taken to foster care and the guys were furries but they had a kid who was a gamer and his name was Wolf he was my age and we ran away together and snuck on a train and it ended up going to California were I discovered Nintendo America and started protesting Mother 3 localization and Wolf got hit by a car and it was a but he survived and was taken home and while I was standing there I heard a call from the heavens but it wasn't God it was Master Hand and he wanted me to work here because he was watching from Nintendo America and he liked my personality. The end.

Lovely story, is it not? Anyway, here is what's going on in my life.

It is a Tuesday. A very eventful one, that is. It is currently the afternoon. I've been trying to stay away from Darkie and his friends ever since he kicked me. Plus, there aren't any meals going on so I have no work to do. I decide to go back to the Campus Helper Dorm. Some of the other cafeteria workers are there to, as well as Kendrew the emo thirteen-year-old janitor, Syeed the "dirty" Hot Topic cashier (The Hot Topic is currently closed.), Robel the "technology boi", along with others, and, oh! Adora's here, which means Alex is probably here too! Yay!

Alex is twelve full years old. Wow. The older kids are so mature. With all of their memes and gaming knowledge… Never mind. But sometimes when everyone's together, I'll just watch as he write fanfictions and spam memes on their super adult C.I. (campus inappropriate) Discord chats. The way he just makes confused faces instead of laughing, the way he smells like delicious steak sauce, and, oh, how I love the straws he puts in his hair. They're just so fancy…

Sorry. I'll go back to the story. I go to Adora and ask her if Alex is around. She says that he was sent on an errand by Master Hand. I guess it must be hard being the head master's personal assistant, constantly having to do this and that for him CONSTANTLY. Anyway, I decide to ignore my feelings for a kid four years older than me who's not even here right now. I settle down in the common room with everyone else. Adora, Syeed, and some of the darker-minded kids sit in the corner doing a Luigi Board and playing One Night Ultimate Chimera. Games like those have always scared me.

I hear someone say my name. "Hey Gemma! Over here!"

I turn around. It's Adora.

"Hey, wanna play with us? We need one more player."

I want to look brave. Powerful. "Sure. I'll do it."

Just as I say that _someone_ walks in. You guessed it. It was him. It was Alex. His hair is messy as usual, but there aren't any straws in it. He is wearing a navy blue hoodie and gray sweatpants with pockets the size of George Washington's right thigh bone.

"Cheez-It."

His voice was sweeter than Big Ben singing Megalovania, even though I never want to hear that song again, since Miguel plays it on piano nine times a day. ANYWAY. Alex sat down with us and one of the eleven-year-olds (he has the same name as a fighter, so we don't call him by his name very often.) started shuffling the deck like crazy and then gave everyone a card.

"Does everyone know how to play or will I have to explain it for the two-millionth time?", He asked, annoyed.

"I don't know how to play!", I shouted.

The kid rolled his eyes. "Basically, there's a village and a chimera is gonna attack it, but no one knows who it is. Everyone gets a role. That role has its own special job, unless you got the Villager. The narrator will tell you what to do for your role, unless you got the Villager which, again, doesn't do anything; the Cyborg boy who wants to kill himself and when everyone's voting for who to kill at the end he WANTS to be voted for; or the Tomboy. If she gets voted for at the end whoever she voted for ALSO dies. Got it?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Has everyone looked at their card?"

"Yes," we all say.

"Okay then. Everyone, cover your eyes or something."

I put my head down. I got the Tomboy. Ironic.

"Monkey, wake up. You may view another player's card, and put it down. You are now that role. If you viewed Tomboy, Villager, or Cyborg, you do what they do when voting, but don't wake up again. If you viewed the Psychic, Thief, Prankster, or Moron, do that role now."

He pauses for ten seconds, then goes again. I forgot to mention, but he is playing a role, too. He memorized the rules and recites them with his head down.

"Now, Monkey, close your eyes unless you viewed a Traitor, then keep your eyes open as the Chimera stick their thumbs out, then go to sleep. Chimera and Monkey Chimera (if the Monkey viewed a Chimera), wake up. There's two of you, so find each other. If there is only one, look at one of the center cards."

He pauses for five seconds. "Chimera, close your eyes. Traitor, wake up. Chimera, don't wake up, but stick out your thumb so the Traitor can see who you are. Forgot to mention, the traitor is the only villager on the Chimera team and wins if no chimera dies, even if HE dies. Anyway, you've probably seen the Chimera by now, so close your eyes. Dragos and Monkey Drago (if the monkey viewed the Drago), wake up. Look for the other Drago(s). This might seem useless, but this lets you know that person isn't a Chimera and form an alliance."

He pauses. "Dragos (and Monkey Drago?), close your eyes. Psychic, wake up and look at another player's card, or two of the center cards." He pauses. "Psychic, close your eyes. Thief, wake up. Switch your card with another player's card." He pauses. "Thief, close your eyes. Prankster, wake up and switch around two other players' cards, but not your own." He pauses. "Prankster, close your eyes. This one's my favorite: Moron, _heh heh_, wake up. You lost your memory, so you have to switch your card with a center card, but DON'T LOOK." He pauses. "Moron, close your eyes. Save Frog, wake up. You are aware of whatever happens, so you get to check your card to see if you're still the Frog." He pauses. "Save Frog, go to sleep. Monkey Frog…"

A few people giggle.

"...wake up. You do the same." He pauses. "Monkey Frog, close your eyes. Everyone, wake up!"

We do a lot of arguing, but at the end, everyone thinks it was me for some reason. I'm voted as the Chimera, but just as the Chimera Team thinks they won (It was really obvious who they were since they got super excited when I was voted for.), I point at one of them and show everyone my card. However, the person I voted for turned out to be the Traitor, and the Chimera team one anyway.

We play multiple rounds of the game. Once me and Alex were both Dragos, and I got really excited! Anyway, after playing, I learned a very valuable lesson:

If you want to keep friendships friendly and stable, don't play One Night.


	22. Byleth Makes Things Worse

**When writing a badfic, you gotta keep things weird, like, REALLY weird. When given a roster of eighty characters, a school of thousands (maybe millions) of student, and a bunch of kids that run everything, making things weird gets fun and easy. One way I've been doing that is totally ruining characters. Oh god that I don't believe in because I'm an atheist… You may have noticed that when reading. As you might have been able to tell when forcing yourself to read this cringe, I gave Joker the personality, or shall I say PERSONA (insert laugh track) of his mains. Why did I do this you may ask? Well, let's just say that I have a lot of friends who are obsessed with Persona. Personally, however, I say the greatest RPG video game is Mother 3, but everyone has their own opinions. Could you say that in a way I am teasing my friends? Sort of. Anyway, check out some of my friends' accounts. Their usernames are 64foxball and spangled. ANYWAY. Back to the cringe.**

*That day at dinner…*

**Lucas:** Hey guys! Guess what?!

**Lucario:** Oh Lord Helix

**Lucas:** The cafeteria started making vegan omelettes!

**Meta Knight:** Well, that sounds disgusting.

**Lucario:** Well, what do you expect? A good half the stuff in this cafeteria is made out of water and powder mixed together by ten-year-olds.

**Meta Knight:** Yup. *looks weirdly at Joker* Even the pizza.

**Joker:** Aww, man! I don't want to be vegan!

**As I said, in a way, I'm kinda making fun of them. If you are also a Joker main, I apologize for making you out of all people suffer. I'm just teasing my friends. y.**

**Ridley:** That is probably the weirdest thing I've ever heard someone say.

**Metaaaa Knight:**Yeah sure…

**Principal Master Hand (over loudspeaker):** Attention all fighters, students, and staff. I have a very important announcement to announce. A new fighter has graduated!

**Everyone:** _Gasp!_

**Principal Master Hand (over loudspeaker):** And their name is… Byleth! There's two of them, actually. A male and a female. Nintendo's still working on being politically correct and all, but whatever. They're both named Byleth, they're both experts in swordsmanship, archery, and whatever it's called when you use spears and maces, and the game they're from is… Fire Emblem: Three Houses!

**Someone (loudly):** NOT ANOTHER FIRE EMBLEM CHARACTER!

**Marth:** SHUT UP.

**Someone Else:** Sakurai's life is stressful enough. JUST EXCEPT THE FIRE EMBLEM CHARACTER FOR GOD'S SAKE.

**Math:** Thank you.

**Principal Hand (over loudspeaker):** And that's it for this fight pass! The next will appear later, so don't go insane. Thank you.

*loudspeaker turns off*

**Meta Knight:** Oh great, Mario's team has a new member.

**Gern Ink:** *intentional spelling issue* And they're from Fire Emblem…

**Mate Knight:** Haha get clowned you noobs! Another swordfighter for the win!

**Risley:** Please. 2018 is over. No clowning past 2018.

**My spelling is now normal… Sort of.**

**Lucas:** This omelette tastes like stale tofu.

**Green Inkling:** It _is_ stale tofu.

**Lucas:** I miss milk and eggs…

**Ridley:** Well, the school year is basically halfway over.

**Lucas:** So?

**Joker:** Don't you get it? You have another half a year or so where you have to be vegan.

**Meta Knight:** Shut up, pessimist. Let the "edgy wise guy" talk. You've heard of the "glass is half full or glass is half empty" phrase, right?

**Lucas:** No, I'm _left_ handed.

**Meta Knight:** You know what I meant. Have you heard of the phrase?

**Lucas:** Yeah…

**Meta Knight:** What _these two_ are getting at is that you have to suffer longer. They see the glass as half empty. They're pessimists, like most of us here, actually. I know you've seen som sh##-

**Ridley:** Eh hem? The seventh grader?

**Lucas:** well technically I graduated college.

**Green Inkling:** Sweet. So did I.

**Lucario:** Wait. Let me get this straight: We've all graduated college but still live in dorm rooms? I'm ****ing confused.

**Meta Knight:** Anyway, about the glass…

*bell rings*

**Meta Knight:** Whatever. I'll email it to you.

*Exit Meta Knight and friends.*

**I'm writing formal when I say that.**

*Later that night in the MOTHER dorm, which by the way has rules.*

**Claus/ Masked Man:** I DON'T HAVE ANY HAIR GEL, NOW GET. OUT. NOW.

**Lucas:** *sudddenly wakes up* What the…

**Claus/ Masked Man:** Lucas, stay out of this. Nabbit just broke into our room looking for hair gel…

**Lucas:** But PSI makes our hair look so hot, not hair gel.

**Claus/ Masked Man:** I know, right? He left after I yelled at him, anyway.

**Lucas:** And let me guess. Neither of us will fall back asleep.

**Claus/ Masked Man:** Right… What time is it?

**Lucas:** 3:57 A.M.

**Claus/ Masked Man:** So, do you wanna wake the whole dorm up?

**Lucas:** First of all, we'll have to deal with Kumatora in the morning, so instant no.

**Claus/ Masked Man:** So?

**Lucas:** _Sigh._ Even though you're now a cyborg, you still stop at nothing to pull a good prank and drive people cra- WAIT.

**Claus/ Masked Man:** What?

**Lucas:** THE PRANK WAR!

**Claus/ Masked Man:** So you're saying…

**Lucas:** YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING.

*Loud knocking can be heard on the wall from the room next to them.*

**Kumatora (from the other room):** ****をシャットダウンします! (Shut the **** up!)

**Lucas:** まあ、それはあなたが私たちの話を聞いたせいです！(Well, it's your fault for listening to us!)

**Kumatora (from the other room):** 寝なさい。(Go to bed.)

**Lucas:** あなたは私ができないことを知っています。(You know I can't.)

**Kumatora (from the other room):** まあ、あなたは変化のために静かであると思いますか？！(well, could you be quiet for a change?!)

**Duster (from other room):** どうして？(Why are you up?)

**Kumatora (from the other room)**: 双子は午前4時に叫びました。 再び。(The twins are shouting at 4 A.M. again.)

**Ness (from a different room):** Is someone awake?

**Jeff (from a different room):** Go to bed, Ness!

**Kumatora (from the other room):** それはいい。 ローカライズされたキャラクターは英語で話せるようになります。(Oh great. The localized characters get to speak in English.)

**Lucas:** Well Claus, you've succeeded in waking the entire dorm up.

**Claus/ Masked Man:** Perfect.


	23. POV Gemma 2

**POV Gemma. Again.**

**So anyway, before Gemma starts blabbering again, I'm gonna give two quick shoutouts. The first one is to my friends for helping me edit and allowing me to make great OCs. The one person who did the most editing was my pen pal Kendrew. I gave him a link to the Google Doc and he got some great ideas going. If you like the characters, thank my friends, not me. Also, my friend Alex has a "parody" off of this fic called "Nintendo Fighter High". Feel free to check it out. The next shoutout is to… GOOGLE TRANSLATE. That's right. Google Translate brought me the Japanese translations in the previous chapter. I honestly am not sure if they mean the same thing as what I put in at first, judging from my second most popular fic, which is literally about Google Translate ruining everything. One more additional thing: Has anyone heard of the YouTuber MVPerry? I've been asking him for a while to read this story on his channel, and so far he hasn't. If you're a fan of this story, check out his channel, and make sure to write #SnailGang in the comments and ask him to read this. I will be very honored if you do so. And to MVPerry, if you ever read this on your channel like I've been asking, I will be greatly thankful. Anyway, ENJOY. (gemma didn't let me write any more in an author's note; that little-)**

I wake up on Wednesday with a weird feeling inside me. Maybe it's memories of my really sad origin story. IN CASE YOU FORGOT, I'll say it again.

I was born in this crazy place called Seattle and my mom was really weird and she supported PETA but she didn't like vaccines so I caught tetanus and when I got better I ran from home by taking an Uber and ended up in Colorado where I stole a dog and sold it so I could pay for McDonald's Happy Meals because I was seven but I ran out of money so I tried shoplifting from a KFC and was taken to foster care and the guys were furries but they had a kid who was a gamer and his name was Wolf he was my age and we ran away together and snuck on a train and it ended up going to California were I discovered Nintendo America and started protesting Mother 3 localization and Wolf got hit by a car and it was a but he survived and was taken home and while I was standing there I heard a call from the heavens but it wasn't God it was Master Hand and he wanted me to work here because he was watching from Nintendo America and he liked my personality. The end.

I just love that story. Filled with so much emotion. Anyway, about me waking up.

I feel something weird inside me. It's kinda like a call. I don't exactly. In a way, it seems like a warning, like, I don't know, a warning that something bad could happen today. You never know. I mean, the fighters have all been in a stupid prank war for like a weeks or something. Wow. Time has been passing REALLY slowly. The warning could be about that, but you never know. I ask the voice in my head what the warning was about, but it only says one thing: L.

"L". Why L? There are twenty-five other letters in the alphabet, but L? What begins with L… Hmmm… Link… Luigi… Lucina… Lucas… Lucario… Luma… Little Mac… Lifelight… Latios and Latias… Living Room… Luigi's Mansion… Lylat Cruise… Man, there's a lot of things that begin with L. I go through the list again. Hmm. Maybe Lucas or Lucario since they're both… Nevermind. I get out of bed, yell a really loud good morning to everyone, wait in line for the bathroom, enter the bathroom, get changed, brush my teeth, brush my hair and put it up in pigtails, exit the bathroom, head to the cafeteria early, eat breakfast, and get ready to start serving a LOT of food. There's a lot of us on the cafeteria team, so we get it done fast-ish. One of the guys that _I_ have to serve is Lucas. I get that weird feeling again when he starts talking to me and asks what he wants. Odd… Maybe he was "L".

"I'll take a vegan omelette please," he said. "For a beverage, can I get a chocolate milk milk? Oh, and I'll have a side of you acting less creepy when DP's around." He snickers. I want to punch him right in the mouth, but I don't.

I sigh. "Yes, sir." I give him the physical items he asked for and yell at him to go away. It's effective. I watch him carefully as he sits down with Meta Knight, who always gets to the cafeteria early. The other members of the "Seven Edgelord Army" (the name us Campus Helpers call them) then join them until they're all there. All seven of them acting like complete idiots.

After breakfast ends, we all go back to the dormitory. We sit and chill, play a few rounds of One Night Ultimate Chimera, and just act like the kids we are. When I'm just sitting around after losing yet another round of One Night, Miguel walks up to me smirking. Boys…

"Hey Gemma. Guess what?"

"What is it," I answer with no emotion.

"You're not the only one who likes Dark Pit. Like, you know, like LIKE-likes."

I gasp. "WHO IS IT?!"

"L-"

"Lucas?!"

He pauses. "Well… Yes."

"WHAT?!"

"Heh heh."

I can't take this crap news! "WHAT?!", I shout.

Miguel just keeps laughing. "Yup."

"No…"

"Yes."

I just can't stand it anymore. My heart is more broke than a college student. Meta Knight and his stupid friend group… Just a lousy matchmaker. So Lucas _was_ "L". He will really get it! Meta Knight… Whose idea was it to bring that sad gay thirteen-year-old and the hottest angel in any universe or fandom together. They all will pay! ALL SEVEN OF THEM. IT IS TIME I TAKE VENGEANCE!

Miguel chuckles and walks away. I stare at him. He finds this FUNNY?! How dare he.

"Miguel!", I shout. "Come here RIGHT now."

He doesn't listen, but I can tell he's weirded out by me yelling at him.

"Gemma are you okay? I mean, mentally that is."

"SHUT UP!"

He stops talking. He looks serious. "Oh okay."

I've won dominance over _him._ Now it's time to win over everyone, whether they like it or not. Losing my milk privileges when I was little really paid off. NOW I'M UNSTOPPABLE. I rove through the dorm. I can't see it, but I can tell by the way I feel that my eyes are probably glowing purple. They do that when I'm angry. It's a sign that my psychic powers are at their strongest. Some of the other kids stare at me. I try to ignore them. When I get to the center of the common room, I notice that some older kids are currently doing a Luigi Board. I knock it off the table, and then jump on top of that same table.

"ATTENTION!"

The older kids in front of me stop cleaning up their game. Kids put down books, phones, sketch pads, and controllers. Everyone watches me. Just what I wanted. I can tell some kids are weirded out by my glowing purple eyes.

"Now that I _have_ your attention, allow me to say something."

I let my eyes glow more and more. Everyone stands still with a dizzy gaze. Within seven seconds or so, their eyes are glowing the same color as mine. Auras of that same violet color surround their bodies. They all have fallen for me. Not even the "strongest warrior in the galaxy" and a clique of demons and awkward teenagers can stop me now. Nothing can.

"Stay here," I tell the other kids. They all stand still. "Good."

I leave the dormitory building. My eyes still glow. For a young lady my age, I look pretty damn bad###.

**Wait. Gemma is like seven or eight or something. Why is she cur- Sorry. I'll get back to your- What? No, I'm not stalling. No u. Shut up I'm not ignoring you! Well, sorry Gemma, it's YOUR fault. Fine. Whatever. *Sorry about that. Gemma is tempermental.***

All of the kids in the dorm are now on _MY_ side, but that isn't enough. I must get ALL of them. My first stop is the strip mall. The strip mall has all of the good stuff: The arcade, the movie theater, grocery store the library, GameStop, LEGO store, gear store, weapon store, hair salon, Hot Topic, McDonalds, and PLENTY of others. I enter each of them one by one, possessing anyone I see. The students are all having classes right now, so it's only us and the fighters. If I actually DO come across a fighter, IT'S FREE REAL ESTATE!

Kid with the same name as a fighter from the GameStop, Alec from the LEGO store, Brady and Ingrid from the library, Syeed from the Hot Topic (plus Adora who happened to be shopping there and hanging out with Syeed), and basically everyone else. Th-th- THEY'RE ALL MINE! Not to mention, I get some freebies. By that I mean… Fighters. Luigi was at the LEGO store, Robin was in the library, Ness had just walked into the arcade when I arrived, Link was buying new weapons, the Ice Climbers were at McDonalds, Inkling Girl and Inkling Boy were checking out some gear, and Chrom was buying groceries.

I feel satisfied with my duties, until finally I hear more NORMAL voices. I follow them. Joe and Ethan. Those two are basically the literal definition of bros. They run the elevators at the strip mall together. It might seem like a boring job, but as long as those two are together, they're instantly having fun. I walk up to them.

Joe instantly notices me. "Oh. Hey Gemma. Your eyes seem-"

I cut him off. I let my eyes blaze like hell on Earth. Well, no Earth, but, uh, Smash-Land? I don't know. ANYWAY, Joe. who was looking at me when talking, falls for it, but Ethan was staring at the elevator controls not me. Ethan looks at Joe, probably wondering why he all of a sudden became so quiet.

"Uh, Joe? You… okay?"

I can tell I've succeeded, because Joe doesn't respond.

This is the perfect opportunity. "Ethan, why don't you look into my eyes?"

"This seems suspicious."

"DO IT!"

Ethan usually is pretty cool and energetic, but right now he seems TOTALLY creeped out by the current situation.

"Joe your eyes are… purple? Joe!"

Ethan still refuses to look at me. I decide to tell him, since he'll probably be under my control sooner or later.

"There's a reason your friend isn't responding to you. Same reason his eyes are weird."

Ethan won't look at me, but I can look at him. He has no idea what to do. He's helpless. I win.

"Wanna hear that reason?"

He doesn't respond.

"That reason is… ME!" I laugh. "I am all powerful. Like most of the other kids, he's under MY control now. He listens to ME, and ME only. So does everyone else. Guess what? Do you want to hear the best part?"

"..."

"You're next!"

My eyes blaze harder than California in 2018. I know that all he can see is purple, but he still won't look at me. So stubborn. Just as I think I won, I hear him mutter something, and he starts running. Twelve-year-old boy: fast. Eight-year-old girl: not fast. I can't catch up to him. I'll have to get him later.

I tell all of the stip mall kids to meet up with the dormitory kids. They follow my directions. I then go basically everywhere else: the anime dungeon, the supply shed, the art closet, the animal shelter, the post office, everywhere. They are all mine, and will forever be, until my mission is complete.

Must. Kill. Lucas.

Oh yeah. And the rest of them. All seven would be good in my soup.


	24. Gemma uhhhhhhhh DOES SOMETHING

*lunch; nom nom nom*

**Joker:** *runs up to table* Meta Knight! I found a juul pod!

**Meta Knight:** nani also why are you here so early? Where's your food?

**Joker:** Bro, that's not important. Look. When I found these, they were wrapped in a long, thin piece of paper. I looked at the paper to see who it belonged to so I could report them, but I… I found something else.

**Meta Knight: **And it was… I still don get the point of your story.

**Joker:** It… It was Mario's FULL battle plans.

**Meta Knight:** Whoa, hold it. So you're saying you…

**Joker:** We win.

*A few minutes later; after everyone arrives at table*

**Lucario:** Oh ! #$ yeah!

**Green Inkling:** Can I curse too?

**Meta Knight:** I think somewhere in America kids under fourteen can get fined for cursing.

**Green Inkling:** But I _am_ fourteen.

**Lucas:** Wait so I'm only thirteen, so-

**Gemma:** *walks up to table* Well, too bad you won't get older.

**Lucas:** I know. No one ages here.

**Gemma:** Whatever. I'm going to murder you.

**Lucas:** ?

**Gemma:** *eyes intensify* DO WHAT I SAY YOU LITTLE-

**Meta Knight: **Gemma what are you-

**Gemma:**This is all your fault blueberry! You and your stupid clique!

*Dark Pit hides under the table and starts resting the Holy Bible. He never actually read it, but Pit loves gods so he's heard the WHOLE thing.*

**Lucario:** Where did you-

**Gemaa:** Leave that table, hot angel boy!

**Meta Knight:** Can't we just, I don't know. Maybe you could explain this to us?

**Gemma:** Darkie, my love for you is NO MORE!

**Dark Pit:** Good.

**Gemma:** Don't fake it. You know Lucas likes you. Like, like-likes you.

**Lucas:** Where did you learn that?!

**Gemma:** I'm not telling, but anyway, all seven of you are gonna be toast.

**Joker:** Wait what did we ever do?

**Green Inkling:** Just saying, Iḿ not involved so…

**Gemma:** YOU KNOW YOU ARE, PUNK!

**Green Inkling:** How?

**Gemma:** BECAUSE OF YOU'RE MERE EXISTENCE! Plus, you're friends with _this_ one. *walks up to Lucas* I had a dream warning me about you. You're a demon. A monster. It's like you could destroy an entire world.

**Lucas:** How did you know?

**Gemma:** Now's not the time for jokes, gay boyfriend-stealer.

**Lucas:** That sounded kind of homophobic.

**Dark Pit:** I never liked you.

**Gemma:** WHAAAAAT?!

**Meta Knight:** That was pretty obvious.

**Ridley:** You seriously thought he liked you?!

**Gemma:** He was my husbando!

**Green Inkling:** Thank god he's not anymore…

**Gemma:** As I was saying, the seven of you are dead meat, something my mommy never let me have. Anyway, you will fall for me!

**Meta Knight:** I'm confused.

**Gemma:** I am the most powerful being to walk this campus! *eyes blaze like crazy*

**Meta Knight:** Don't look!

**Dark Pit:** I can't. I'm under the table.

**Gemma:** So you know how to avoid it, eh? Well, I can't let you do it. I'm talking ESPECIALLY to YOU. *points at Lucas*

**Lucas:** Why do you hate me? If you're jealous of me for having a mom who supported vaccines, it's my duty to inform you that my mom is dead!

**Gemma:** You know why. I know you love him.

**Lucas: **It's just a crush! He had no idea about my attraction to him until just now!

**Gemma:** Well too bad! *psychic pulls Lucas towards her*

**Lucas:** Meta Knight!

**Meta Knight:** My eyes are closed, but I can try to do something.

**Gemma:** So you're getting the blueberry to help you? I'm afraid that won't work. He's only nine inches big, is he not? I could just step on that little runt. No one can save you.

**Lucario:** You are aware that I can see your aura. Oh sh**, I shouldn't of said that.

**Gemma:** Welp, gotta take care of you. *yeets pork at Lucario*

**Lucario:** Oh lor- * collapses*

**Gemma:** I said that I was unstoppable.

**Lucas:** Meta Knight… please…

**Gemma:** Can't you see? They've been defeated. You're my property now.

**Lucas:***starts crying* CAN'T SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING?! Please.. Somebody.

**Gemma:** Nope! *brings eyes to full blaze; psychic forces Lucas' eyes open.* Now, you follow me, and me alone.

**Meta Knight:** Lucas, no…

**Green Inkling:** He… he's still awake, right? Lucas, what is rule number five on your dorm?

*no response*

**Gemma:** Heh heh. Just too bad…

**Ridley:** Oh great. And Lucario is down. Gemma's the only one here who can use PK Kosher to save him. She wins.

**Meta Knight:** There's other PSI users on this campus, right? Ness, the other characters from the MOTHER dorm, someone can learn that move and bring him back to consciousness?

**Gemma:** Sorry to say, but they're all under my control as well. The six of you are the only ones on this entire campus who aren't. Heh heh. Sucks to be you.

**Meta Knight:** … Well, maybe it does. You four. Go. Without me. Hide somewhere. Help Lucario. Stay away from this child.

**Gemma:** Running away? I don't think so.

**Meta Knight: **Oh look Donald Trump.

**Gemma:** Where?

**Meta Knight:** Run!

*exit the other five*

**Gemma:**Well Meta Knight, you can't get your friend back. Come back later. *teleports away*

**Meta Knight:** Lucas… I'm sorry.


	25. Johto Jedi Starts Narrating the Story

**PLEASE READ THIS NOTE! (*-*)** *important*

**I don't even know anymore… I'm trying here, okay people? Geeze. Anyway, his is what I'm here to say: I'm pretty sure a good majority of y'all aren't gonna read this, but I'm saying it anyway. There's something wrong with my hands, I think. I described the symptoms in more detail on my profile page, so please check it out. I'm posting similar author notes in other stories. THANKS!**

**ALSO, THIS CHAPTER IS IN PARAGRAPH FORMAT.**

Master Hand was getting reckless. He stood firmly at his desk on Final Destination tapping his fingers on the wood. A tired boy stood at one side of the desk like a guard, the other side empty.

Master Hand stopped tapping his fingers. "Alexander?"

"Yeah," the boy responded.

"Did Adora ever tell you when she would get back? It doesn't take three hours to buy new socks."

"Uh, she said she'd be back soon."

"Three hours is NOT soon."

"Fair."

"Can you get her for me? She needs to get back soon."

"Okay, sure."

Alex nodded and left. His head felt like a heavy fencing mask was stuck to it and his eyelid drooped down like they had their own depression or anxiety. _It's Gemma's fault_, he thought. He had been getting nightmares about the little brat for weeks, draining his sleep bit by bit. Trying to keep his energy so Master Hand wouldn't be angry at him too, he quickly did the teleport thing from one floating island to another until he reached the main campus.

It was quiet. Unnaturally quiet. With a yawn, he started walking through the campus. No one was there. He knew it was a class period, but where were the fighters? The other Campus Helpers? The teachers on break?! An uneasy feeling built up inside him. But he couldn't ignore Master Hand's instructions. He walked over to the strip mall to find his fellow guard, only to see the entire thing empty. Just as he was about to walk away, he heard something faint. It was coming from the elevator.

Alex ran to the elevator. No one was operating it. There was a car inside the elevator shaft, and scuffling and some faint shouts could be heard from inside it. He stared at the control panel with a look of confusion. Stressed out, he clicked a random button. The elevator car slowly went down the shaft, and the door opened. Pure luck. As the door opened, Alex curiously looked inside. A small pink being was huddled in the corner of the car. It was Kirby!

"P-poyo?"

The pink puffball stared at the boy for a moment, and then ran up to him and hugged his ankle. Alex gave Kirby an awkward smile. But Kirby seemed hungry. Really hungry. Alex rummaged through his pockets to find an orange. Before he could give it to Kirby, the small pink demon devoured it in a millisecond.

Realizing what he was sent to do, Alex informed Kirby of his duties and walked away. Kirby followed. Alex groaned and agreed to take the puffy boi with him. Kirby sat proudly on the shoulder of a human child as the boy headed for the Hot Topic. Looking through the window he noticed two figures sitting in the shop. Oh great. Adora had decided to chat with a friend instead of working. Just great.

He walked in with Kirby perched on his shoulder. As he entered, he noticed the two weren't talking, but just sitting there.

"Hey, guys?"

They didn't respond.

"GUYS."

Still, there was nothing but the sound of their breathing. Frustrated, he walked firmly up to Adora and tapped her shoulder. She turned around, showly, followed by the kid at the desk, Syeed. Just as he thought that things were normal, he noticed that, oddly, that a purple light was shining through their glasses.

"What the-"

The two of them didn't answer him, but only said one word.

"Gemma. Gemma. Gemma."

"Gemma?" Alex wondered what that weirdo had to do with this. "Why would she-"

"Possess your friends to get revenge on a moody teenager?"

Gemma stood in the doorway,her golden hair, usually combed, looked like a lion's mane, a bandana covered her eyes, her cafeteria apron torn, but most notable, a purple light surrounded her body like a fire. Alex knew Gemma was not "okay", but, holy Sakurai! What was this?

"Gemma," Alex asked in a confused tone. "What the woomy is going on?"

"Oh," Gemma cooed. It sounded weird. "I'll tell you later."

"Why?"

"BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT!"

The little anti-vax kid approached Alex with a grim smile. In alarm, he slowly backed away, the pink guy on his shoulder shivering and hiding his face in the boy's hood. The other two in the shop just stared blankly. Not a single emotion crossed either of their faces. Their eyes were also still purple. Eventually, Alex realized, he was cornered.

"Gemma," he groaned. "Can you PLEASE explain to me why you are doing this."

"BECAUSE DARK PIT IS HOT."

**Those of you who got this far, I'm sorry for making you read this.**

"So… ?"

"A girl need a real crush, too, not just a husbando."

"I have female friends who don't like-like boys."

"That's because they are not as amazing as I, the great Gemma Luna Hellshadow!"

Alex face palmed. "Oh my GOD."

"And that's not all!", Gemma continued. "Someone else loved my little hot angel."

Alex rolled his eyes.

"IT WAS LUCAS!"

"Oh great."

"And so I possess everyone on campus besides Meta Knight."

"..."

"I don't feel like possessing you, though. I like you too much. I… hmm… I'll just take you captive. And I'll make you shave your afro."

"WHY YOU LITTLE-! NOT MY AFRO!"

"Oh." Gemma giggled. "I can't wait."

As she said that, the two motionless kids got up and grabbed his arms. Gemma walked up to him, gently picked Kirby off of his shoulder, and started laughing. Hard.

"I won," she said in an annoying baby voice that most girls her age use. "Again."

Kirby stood still and looked up the girl.

"Oh," she said. "I almost forgot about you."

Gemma turned her back to the three older kids and did… something? Alex watched as he saw a huge SPIRE OF FLAME surround the little brat. When she turned around, Kirby too had those glowing purple eyes. Alex gulped hard, but tried not to look so nervous.

"Gemma," he groaned. "I just have one question."

"Well, what is it?"

Alex breath out. "Who is your dealer?"

"I don't get it."

Alex started laughing harder than she had been laughing earlier.

"What's so funny?"

"N-never mind."

"What-ever," Gemma said in a sassy voice trying to sound like a mean girl. "You two, leave him here. This place is now the dungeon Make sure he doesn't get away or anything like that. Here. I'll make a cage of hoodies and anime merch and stuff like that. You hold him still.

After five minutes or so, Gemma used the only knowledge she had to think of an bences, light shelves, and basically anything ese in the shop to create a prison. The lay out was like the following:

Wherever there was one of those clothing racks in which there's a metal bar with hanger cong off of it, the hangers were removed. Shelves or benches and stuff were placed along the area every few feet to make "cells". In a cell, a captive would have their wrists tied to the bar, their eyes covered, and their ankles bonded together, just in case. In Gemma's mind, the idea was absolutely foolproof. What could go wrong?

Gemma left the Hot Topic proudly, leaving her first prisoner behind. Anyone who wasn't possessed yet would be when dinner would come. People simply can't go without eating. Plus, now that she had her dungeon system down. Anyone with important info could be spared. She had a whole list of good prisoners planned out: Meta Knight and the other five, that elevator kid who ran away from her, any of their allies, ahh, yes.

"Man," she said to herself. "This night will be fun."


	26. Meta Knight Adopts a Child

Meta Knight was tired. He had spent the entire afternoon sitting in the bathroom of his dorm crying, and he didn't want to. I made him feel like he was only a five-hundred-year-old kid, not the strongest warrior in the entire galaxy. Things only got worse when his roommates didn't show up after dinner that night, and neither did Kirb or the king. He was depressed, and he knew it. And he was scared of an eight-year-old girl. Thus, he just stayed lying down under a thick blanket in the bathroom crying really loud.

MEANWHILE

Ethan wanted pizza. He hadn't really eaten anything since… How long was it? Breakfast. Dinner had already past, and he hadn't had anything that day besides some gross cafeteria breakfast food, but man, pizza sounded awesome. Sad, too. He remembered moments of him and his bro eating junk food together. Together. That crazy anti-vax! What was _her_ deal, just going around and forcing people into hiding and possessing their friends, he had even overheard her say something about a dungeon! He needed to destress, but how? If he looked at memes, he might laugh and get caught, so basically, there wasn't anything to do besides hide all day and be stressed. Great.

For most of the day, he had pretty much been going incognito. He wore his hood up, walked quietly, and tried as hard as he could to do a decent hiding job. It worked…

So far.

He was walking slowly when he noticed that there wasn't anyone around, and he was approaching a dorm. It was probably empty, so Ethan, with a spark of excitement, casually walked in.

He was exploring it to see what was there when he heard a noise.

Crying.

Curriously, he walked to the room where he heard it coming from. The room was empty, but he then noticed it wasn't coming from the main room, but the bathroom. He knocked.

Meat Knight was minding his business crying when he heard someone knock. Startled, he jolted up.

"Gemma, go away!"

Ethan was offended. "I am NOT Gemma, BTW."

"Wait, that voice… That's… Not Gemma. And it's not monotone."

"No," Ethan groaned. "I'm not possessed."

Meta Knight paused. "One… One second."

Meat Knight looked around for his mask. He grabbed it, put it on, and sighed.

"You can open the door."

Hearing the permission, Ethan slowly opened the door. The two looked at eachother. They weren't possessed. It wasn't a trap. They were both survivors. They were both tired, hungry, scared, confused, and torn. They were practically…

A team.

"Hey, kid?", Meta Knight asked.

"Uh, yeah?"

"You think ya could help me free everyone?"

"I guess so?"

Meta Knight smiled underneath his mask. "Do you…" He stopped smiling. "Do you think you could beat… _her_?"

Ethan put on the most sarcastic smile Meta Knight had ever seen. "Nope!"

MetaKnight sighed. "That's… what I thought."

"I mean, I'm willing to go with you, but I just think we're gonna get captured."

"Don't you mean possesed?"

"Oh." Ethan paused. "I overheard a conversation saying that there was know a dungeon for certain people."

"What do you mean?"

"What do I mean?" Ethan looked serious. "Meta Knight…"

"What?"

"She means… us."


	27. Joker Meets Phil Swift

**Subscribe to my friend Distorted Pikachu on YouTube. Thx ^o^**

"WHAHAHAHAT?!" Meta Knight said loudly.

"Shut up," Ethan said back. "Someone might hear you screaming in a bathroom with a twelve-year-old and arrest you for assault on children."

"..."

Meta Knight stared at the child. A look of concern crossed his face. "Tell me more."

"I heard her tell her slaves that she was looking for a blueberry, an elevator kid, a 'really edgy and hot angel', and any demons or moody teenagers."

Meat Knight was confused. "And… Where is this 'dungeon'?"

"The Hot Topic. Gemma wrecked the place and turned it into a prison for her kidnapped victims she doesn't feel like possessing. So far, all I know is that she is currently holding Master Hand's servant as a hostage there."

"Which one?"

"Alex. Adora is possessed."

"Oh." Meta Knight thought for a moment for something funny to say to lighten the mood. "At least we don't have to hear Beatles jokes every three seconds."

It was a fact that Adora loved the Beatles. She had Beatles t-shirts, posters, hoodies, socks, and even a George Harrison Sergeant Pepper outfit, hat and all. Her phone was nothing but George Harrison husbando pics and Photoshopped images of John Lenon as a communist.

"Yeah. I guess."

"Anyway." Meta Knight looked dead serious at the boy. "Will you help me save everyone from the anti-vax girl?"

"We're gonna get caught, but sure."

"Well, kid, let's go. Wait. What's your name?"

"Oh. I'm Ethan."

Meta Knight nodded. The two of them left the dorm, ready to take on a challenge.

But, whatever happened to Meta Knight's friends?

"I think he's waking up."

Lucario woke up to five figures staring at him and a child's finger constantly tapping his arm. The child continued to tap his arm, even after he woke up.

"Green, what the hell! Stop it!"

"Oh. You're awake. Sorry."

Lucario sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Where.. Am I? Where's Meta Knight?! Did he help Lucas or…"

Dark Pit stared at the wall in the corner he sat in. "Gemma won."

"SHE WHAT?!"

"Be quiet. Someone might hear you," Green snapped.

"Oh. Right. Where are we?"

Ridley, who was way too crammed in to even blink decided to talk. "This is the secret basement underneath the Heroes' Hall. It's small, but it's basically the only safe place. No one knows about it besides us, maybe some others."

"I discovered this place once when I was exploring the Heroes' Hall after graduating and becoming the leader of the new Persona dorm," Joker said. He was holding that can of Flex Glue again for some reason. "It's odd. I bought this glue once as a joke, but now, whenever it's running low, it seems to magically refill overnight. It only started happening after I discovered this basement, though."

"Is someone else here?", Green asked.

"Impossible," Ridley responded. "It's too small."

"Or is it?", a voice in the distance chimed.

The figure walked into the room through a magical door.

"Phil Swift!", Green shouted with excitement.

"Quiet," hissed Dark Pit.

"Were you the one refilling my Flex Glue?", Joker asked.

"Yes," Phil Swift responded. "I came here once for the Brawlhalla summer camp, but I decided to stay and help people out who were in need."

No one responded.

*Meanwhile with Meta Knight and Ethan…

The two were hiding behind a rock. Easy for Meta Knight, being a nine-inch circle. Not easy for Ethan, being a person. Whenever they found an abandoned dormitory, they would camp there for a little bit. Eventually, they reached the dormitory where the Campus Helpers lived.

"Oh god," Ethan muttered. "My bedroom."

"Be careful," Meta Knight warned. "This is also where we might find a lot of those possessed kids. I have a sword but I don't want to kill children."

"Why not?"

"Because that's illegal."

"Oh. Right."

Meta Knight drew Galaxia (his sword, for all of you fake fans) and the two walked into the building. It was quiet. Mostly. Upstairs, they heard a noise. It sounded like all of the grannies that work at the gas station. It wasn't particularly loud, but they both clearly heard it.

Then there was a voice. "Is someone here?"

Met Knight seemed shocked. "That voice didn't sound possessed."

"Is someone here?"

"Are you possessed," Meta Knight asked.

"What?"

"Can we come upstairs?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess?"

The two walked upstairs. They walked up to a door. The door led to the bedrooms. They knocked. The voice from before told them to come in. They did.

The room was almost all empty, except for one person. There was a girl around eleven sitting at a desk playing pokemon on a desktop. She had black hair in a slightly overgrown bowl cut and was wearing a Harry Potter hoodie, even though she had never read the series. She paused her game and turned around to see who was at the door.

"Hello."

"Wait. I've seen you before. Your name's… uh, I forget. You work at the daycare center, right?", Ethan asked.

"Yeah."

"Why are you here?"

"I went there earlier, but all of the Pokemon were gone for some reason, so I decided to just go back to the dorm."

"?"

"I slept in after lunch. After I woke up, everyone was gone. I decided to go to work, but everyone was gone there, too."

"Didn't you get any weird feelings?"

"Neh, I just wanted to play mario kart."

The males were confused. Was this a girl thing that they didn't understand?

"Are... you aware that there's an apocalypse outside right now?"

"Oh. Cool. I didn't know."

"Gemma took mind control of everyone on campus besides us."

"What?!"

"Why is it that NOW you're scared?"

"G-G-G-Gemma."

"Oh," The males both said.

"Hey!" Meta Knight said in his best LEGO City voice. "Do you want to join our team and stop her?"

"Yeah!"

Ethan was weirded out, not just by girls in general. This girl was just like "yeah I wanna fight Gemma" not even realizing what was going on. Girls were weird. So weird, infact, that he decided to walk into the bathroom of the dorm, slam the door really loudly, tie his hoodie to the shower sprayer, and punch it really hard while screaming Smash Mouth. It felt good.

**Subscribe to Distorted Pikachu on YouTube. He is my friend and helps me edit this.**


	28. Gemma Discovers Video Chats

**Again, subscribe to Distorted Pikachu on YouTube. He is currently making a reaction vid for this fic!**

The five stared at Phil Swift. They tried to comprehend the situation. The guy from the Flex Tape commercials was now here, IN I MINISCULE HIDDEN BASEMENT, because he entered through a magical door?! Dark Pit got a feeling that the author ran out of ideas and decided to talk in dead memes. Again. And I am here to say, yes. Pittoo was right. 100%.

Joker looked at the can of Flex Glue in his now trembling hands. The green Inkling boy just stared in awe at the man that had been one of his role models for ever so long. Dark Pit still considered that I ran out of ideas when writing this. Lucario was leaning against a wall cursing, while Ridley was trying to understand what was going on, since he was too crammed in the small room to move his head.

Phil Swift was happy. He always was. While the five stood and stared at him, he stood and stared back, humming Piano Man by Billy Joel the entire time. It was Lucario's favorite song, but he didn't feel like admitting it to everyone else. Why would he? Now really wasn't the time for that, was it? His two closest friends were missing, his precious child was probably possessed, there was an anti-vax child running around capturing people, and he was stuck in a basement with three teenagers, an oversized dragon-thing, and the Flex Tape man. Things really couldn't get worse, could they?

I hate to break it to you, but it could. Cringe-wise, that is. I'll now be transitioning to Meta Knight and the humans he was with, so prepare for a transition.

TRANSITION WORD, Ethan had calmed down and stopped punching his hoodie. He left the bathroom feeling slightly less confused. He walked back into the bedroom. There was now a mudkip. Whazt? He thought for a moment that it would be best to start punching again, but he realized that that was a terrible idea. TERRIBLE. He would become addicted to hoodie-punching! He breathed in, and endured his surroundings. Bedroom. Nearly empty. One person. Two small blue things. Meta Knight. Meta Knight was talking to a mudkip. The mudkip had an eyepatch. Meta Knight just got bitten by a mudkip. Meta Knight said a swear word. Lily looked surprised, but didn't seem to care much. The mudkip burped.

Ethan decided to go back to the bathroom and punch his hoodie again. Just as he was about to leave the room, Meta Knight asked him why he kept walking away. Excuse time! Nevermind. He ignored the question and stayed in the bedroom. He walked up to his bed and the cubby next to it to try to find anything he'd need. Phone, backpack, Switch, water bottle, an old pretzel, headphones. Lily looked over at him and realized that she should probably do the same thing. She called to the Mudkip, and it came and ran up to her. She picked it up, put it on her bed, and started to pack. Glowsticks, butterscotches, laptop, blanket, trumpet, sandwich, backpack (duh), computer charger, sketchbook, pencils… By then she had run out of space. To make more space, she got rid of the trumpet, giving her space to add an extra hoodie, with a little space left. Nice.

The two had both finished packing. Meta Knight had noted it. They were about to leave, when Ethan's phone started vibrating. He picked it out of his backpack. A video call.

From Joe.

Ethan answered the call immediately. "Guys! I think Joe managed to escape from Gemma!"

The person on the other side appeared. The excitement drained from Ethan's face. It was Gemma.

"I found you, you little mooses!", Gemma shouted.

"Did she just call me a moose?", Lily asked.

"Wait, YOU're here too?" Gemma had no idea about Lily. She was enraged!

"Huh?", Lily asked. "What's going on?"

"Gemma is trying to take us captive," Ethan said. "In a Hot Topic."

Lily loved Hot Topic. It had all of the best Hoodies and T-shirts and exclusive figures. Why would such an amazing place become a dungeon? Honestly though, none of this situation made sense.

"How did you get Joe's phone?", Ethan asked.

"Easy. I demanded him to give me the password and explain to me how to use it. When you control people's mind, asking them to do stuff for you is easy."

Meta Knight was watching the conversation. Gemma noticed he was there, and laughed even harder. "So you all found each other, eh?" Gemma kept laughing. "Wanna see someone? Someone who means A LOT to you?"

"You mean…"

Gemma clearly had no idea how to do a video call. The camera kept zooming in on random things. Like other people's socks. Or hair. Or some random Twisted Sister lanyard that just kept appearing for some reason. Gemma was crazy.

"ETHAN," Gemma shouted through the phone. "Give the phone to Meta Knight, now!"

"Geez, okay…"

Meta Knight took the phone. Gemma grinned.

"Alright, blueberry."

Meta Knight rolled his eyes, but then gulped.

"_Someone_ wants to say something to you."

"Oh god…"

"LUCAS," Gemma shouted. "Come over here!"

Meta Knight looked at the phone, which was almost as tall as him. The veiw jerked again, zooming in on some gum on a bench, then a ripped down sign, then someone's glasses. When it finally came back into focus, Gemma wasn't alone. A boy was next to her. The boy was around twelve or thirteen. Through his glowing eyes Meta Knight could see a face scarred with sorrow and fear. An old hoodie of a rock band. Denim shorts. Butter hair. Meta Knight felt like crying. It was Lucas.

Gemma was happy. She had never felt better in her life, had she? She giggled. "Welp, I know where you are now. This will be easy. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Bye, blueberry!"

"D-Do you want your phone back?"

"..."

Lily's mudkip looked sad. The girl tried to comfort the frightened Pokemon, until, suddenly, it let out a bird-like squak.

"What the…"

"Oh. I see." Lily looked at the others. "Mudkip thinks we're all gonna die."

"Oh. We knew. They'll be coming for us soon, anyway."

Meta Knight looked at Galaxia. The small sword looked pathetic in this time of crisis. Gold light shone off of it like a chicken nugget. Like his chicken nugget, Lucas. They knew the girl would come for them eventually. Guilt filled him. Was it really his fault, as Gemma had said? If Lucas and Dark Pit never sat at the same lunch table, would this never had happened? He started to cry. This was the end of normal life at the Sakurai Academy of Fighting and Fighters. SAFF. "Nintendo Fighter School". "The place where Hell comes to Heaven". It would no longer be an ordinary school with crazy teachers and school lunches made from water, cliques and homework overloads, bullies and fire drills, the school was now chaos. Total chaos. There was nothing they could do about it.

A knock was on the door of the dorm. More knocks. The door slammed open. Footsteps. Voices. Shouting. Purple. Lots of purple. A girl with a bandana over her eyes. Hands. Duct tape. Mudkip noises. The group was surrounded.

"Meta Knight's aura!" Lucario shouted. "He's in trouble. We have to help him."

**Sorry about that if it sounded a little cliche.**

"I can help with that!", Phil Swift said loudly.

"Why…"

"Follow my lead!", the Flex Tape man chimed. Using some Flex Seal, he created a magical door that even Ridley could fit through. "C'mon, guys!"

The five awkwardly followed Phil Swift. Phil Swift kept humming Lucario's favorite song. It gave Lucario hope, sort of.

"Dog thing," Phil Swift commanded. "Where is the 'aura' coming from?"

"I-It's moving," Lucario responded. "But it appears to be headed-"

"What is it?", Green asked.

"Meta Knight is going to… the place our lunch table started."


	29. THE FINAL BATTLE

**Sub to Distorted Pikachu, help my hands, the usual. I'll just get on with the story.**

"Why do we have to run," Green complained. "Can someone carry me?"

The green inkling boy turned into a squid, and kept complaining.

"I'll do it," Dark Pit sighed and picked up the squid.

Green was very happy. Dark Pit rolled his eyes and trotted along with the group, the neon green sqid in his back arm, the one that didn't have a giant electrical thing equiped to it. The Electroshock Arm was a great weapon to equip, but it was heavy. His arm hurt. Why was HE stuck carrying the squid?! Whatever.

MEANWHILE…

"Well, blueberry, this has been fun," Gemma cackled. "It will only get better."

Gemma was holding the navy blue puffball by his Dimensional Cape. She had confiscated Galaxia and stole his mask. His nublies (as MatPat says) were duct taped to his sides. The girl loved every moment of it.

While no one was looking, Alex had managed to do something. When Adora and Syeed had tied him down, he was holding a pocket knife in his fist. No one was looking. _No one_ was looking. He opened the blade and began to cut away at the shoe laces that held his wrists to the rack.

It worked. No one was looking. He bent over and did the same for his ankels. He kept the bandana over his eyes, just in case. He stretched his limbs a little, then pushed his legs together and held onto the racks. No one was looking. No one noticed.

Gemma had totally thought she had won. For a while, she had, until Meta Knight noticed a group approaching the building.

"Are you ready?", Phil Swift asked.

The others awkwardly nodded. Green leaped out Dark Pit's arms and epic-ly turned into a kid mid-air.

"Ng'yes!"

The loud ng'yes was loud. Gemma heard it.

"What the cheddar cheese was that?"

"It's Flex Tape Time!", Phil Swift shouted.

Everyone who wasn't possessed was trying really hard not to laugh. Alex had to take a hand off the rack to cover his laughter. Flex Tape memes were everyone's favorite.

"You all are going to die like dead people," Gemma screamed.

"Wait, I just got an idea." Green whispered his idea to the others. The sorta agreed.

The ng'yes boy ran into the Hot Topic.

"Get him!", Gemma commanded, but Green super jumped to where he saw his possessed friend.

"Hey, Lucas!"

Green swung his roller. Neon green ink splatted Lucas right in the face, covering his eyes. The boy's eyes opened. They weren't purple.

"Guys, it worked!"

"Ew, why is there ink on my face? Green!"

"Oh, sorry." Green tried not to cry. If he cried, he wasn't worthy of the Skull Bandana. He was just glad to have his friend back.

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF MILK?!" Gemma screamed.

"Guys!", Green said. If we cover their eyes, they wake up, I think."

"Oh #$%," Gemma grumbled. "They found my weakness."

The group went on covering the eyes of all of the students, fighters, and campus helpers, waking them up, as well as untying all of the captives. Eventually, just Gemma was left. Earlier she had accidentally dropped Meta Knight, allowing him to escape. Being a nice friend, Lucario helped him find his mask and sword. Bros for life.

Gemma kept laughing. "You guys think you can win?"

"Uh, yeah," Meta Knight remarked. "We have the entire campus on our side."

"As well as Phil Swift!", Green chimed. Lucas looked at his friend with a confused expression on his face.

"Haven't you remembered?" Gemma asked. "My eyes. They're still covered, but if I take off this bandana-"

_Thump._

"What was that?", Gemma asked.

_Thump._

"I don't know," Meta Knight answered.

_Thump._

"Whatever it is, it's probably your fault," Gemma muttered.

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

The ground started shaking. The thumping got louder. A shadow grew over the campus. A roar louder than online Splatoon players broke out. Everyone was terrified, besides Lucas.

"What's going on?", Green asked his friend.

"Don't worry," Lucas responded. "I just called for some help, that's all."

"What do you mean?"

"Just wait."

The entire campus was engulfed in darkness. No one could see a thing. Gemma, who was afraid of the dark, broke out in tears.

"NOW will you tell me?" Green was getting impatient.

"Wait. I think I know." Meta Knight thought for a moment. "Is this…"

"The power of the Dark Dragon!", Lucas shouted. "Everyone who's still in here, get out!"

Students, fighters, and campus helpers followed a flashlight's light out of the Hot Topic. Everyone gathered in the center of the floating island. Everyone was also very confused of to what the woomy was going on.

"You'll all fall for me!", Gemma shouted.

Glowing eyes could be seen approaching everyone. Lucas felt a cold hand touch his arm. Gemma was here. She had nearly killed him, now it was his turn to get that sweet revenge. The Dragon roared. Quietly, so it was only as loud as a train crashing into an asteroid. The cold hand left his arm. The purple lights disappeared. Gemma was gone.


	30. POV Meta Knight 2 E N D

**Chapter 30:** **POV Meta Knight II (the end)**

**I decided to do another POV Meta Knight, because today, March 23, is Meta Knight's birthday! Happy birthday to the greatest fictional character to ever exist, and my hero.**

It's the last day of the school year. It's lunch time. Our table is much more crowded than usual. On the last week, students can sit wherever they want. This past week I brought my clan-mates, Lucas brought his brother, Lucario brought his son, Joker brought some friends, but Dark Pit and Ridley claim that there is no one that likes them, nor anyone they like, therefore they have no one to sit at the table with us. On the very last day of the school year, it's also the very first day of the summer, so the cafeteria is flooded not only with video game characters, but also characters from books, movies, plays, animes, comics, YouTube videos, and even celebrities from the real world, all here for the Brawlhalla Summer Academy It is crowded, and when I say crowded, I mean tables are jammed crowded and the lunch line is going out of the door crowded.

Lunch is going well, and loud. This is the last day Lucas has to be vegan. He and his brother are joking about it. Those two are practically the same person. The only way to tell them apart is that Claus has a metal arm, while Lucas doesn't, and Lucas has the number 37 printed on the back of all of his shirts. I watch the two of them sit next to each other. When they talk, it's like they isolate themselves from the world, and they're the only ones they can see. Their bond is beautiful.

The lunch bell rings, everyone says farewell to one another, and we meet up with our dorms. When we get back to the Kirby dorm, all of the students are packing. I help my clan gather all of their stuff off the roof, then head down to my room. It's practically empty. The other knights' stuff is all in bags. No controllers or chips are lying around the room. Their beds are made. The closet is empty, besides a single replacement mask. It feels weird. It feels weird every year. I walk out of the dorm. I notice something on the door. Rules?!

_Kirby Dormitory Rules:_

_One mustn't touch the crown._

_No fighting with your edgy doppelganger._

_Meta Knight's mask is not a toy._

_Dangerous Dinner isn't edible._

_No flying indoors._

_No eating your roommates._

"_Spin Off Fridays" violate multiple campus rules and are hereby banned._

_Do not turn people into yarn._

_No murder._

_No dictatorship._

_No cheesecake theft._

_No forming gangs._

_Don't destroy planets._

_Thank you!_

Excuse me? NANI

I run to tell everyone at my lunch table, but they're also in the middle of campus to tell me something, too.

"Guys," I say. "My dorm just got-"

"Rules?", Green asks, excited.

"Yeah…"

"Everyone's did…", Lucario mutters. "Mine says that you can't kidnap your own children."

"What?", I ask. "Mine says Dangerous Dinner is not a meal or something."

"Mine just completely roasts everyone," Green says. "It basically says that we need to get a life and stop obsessing over which idol is better, but it's obviously Callie."

"I don't know who made them," Joker says. "But the Persona rules state that 'If you never see it coming, look harder.'"

"That doesn't make any sense, but mine was distorted," Ridley adds. " It says 'The young people were sticking to each other.' followed by the letters 'GT ' and a Lenny Face."

"GT probably means Google Translate," I say. "Your rules were Google Translated!"

"Mine is the best. It says 'No one is a stain. All people are beautiful, treat everyone the way you would want to be treated.'" Dark Pit sighs.

We get Lucas to share the news. He loves it. So does his brother. He particularly likes the Google Translated Metroid rules. If you include Claus, there's eight of us talking. Claus is so much like Lucas that if you look at the group and you know that we are a group, he'll blend right in. The thought of the school year ending comes back to me. All of the students leave. All of the fighters move to cabins sorted by game genre.

Later that day, I'm sitting in my room reading Fullmetal Alchemist. Manga is a relatively new interest of mine. I got into it because some of my friends liked it. Anyway, I'm reading FMA when the period bell rings. Dinner. I teleport to the cafeteria. First one there! Everyone eventually arrives at the table. It's quiet. Students and fighters look at eachother. Claus and Lucas are hitting each other with PK Love, both wearing Franklin Badges, causing the energy to go back and forth repeatedly. I somehow get hit with one… It hurts. Physically. My mask falls off again, but I don't care. Everyone has seen my face by now, I've given up trying to hide it. I just pick it back up and continue eating. That battle made me surprisingly chill. It undid the chill on everyone else.

You see, after that battle happened, it gave us a lot of attention, especially Lucas. Lucas has social anxiety. That did not end well. Also, Bowser Jr. started a trend of people singing the Dragon Tales theme song whenever they see us. I admit it was kind of funny at first, like "haha, Dark Dragon" or whatever, but that was in January. It's June now and people still do that. IF I HEAR THAT SONG ONE MORE-

The bell rings. Everyone parts. I notice Dark Pit is confronted by his goddess. I can't help but watch. And listen.

"Do you promise to recycle without me?"

"Yeah."

"Will you only use eco-friendly soap?"

"Yeah."

"Will you only leave plugs in for thirty minutes or less?"

"Yeah."

"Will you compost ALL food scraps?"

"Yeah."

"Will you avoid single-use plastic?"

"Yeah."

Viridi goes on and on about "being green" or whatever. She makes the angel raise his right hand and swear he will do these things. He does not look amused, but he agrees. The Kid Icarus characters head back to their dorm. I go to mine.

It's sad back there. Kirby is hugging Bandana Dee, crying. Magolor joins the hug. I have to admit, the three of them are adorable. My clan-mates are singing Be Back Soon from the musical "Oliver!" to me. First it was Dragon Tales, now this? They're clearly trying to draw my attention. I'm nice. I don't ignore them.

"So long fare thee well pip pip cheerio-"

I cut them off. "Be back soon."

My knights nod at me. We hang out with each other. Eventually the entire dorm is chillin' together. It feels good, all of us together. We talk, play-fight, read fanfics, tell jokes, watch YouTube, and just all around have fun. The day eventually ends. The final bell rings. The bell that rings at the end of every year. It rings Lifelight. It sounds beautiful. Beautiful and sad. I know the notes by heart. I hear them in my head.

G

E

D

D

I hum along while everyone else, even Dedede, cries. The year is over.

The next day I wake up in a room alone. No one is there besides me. I get out of bed, get ready, and do other morning stuff. Alone. By myself. The bell for breakfast rings. I teleport there. When everyone arrives, I know I'm not alone. Friendship. The idea of a lunch table. Lucas is eating more meat and milk than a creepy baby doll. The summer has started.

Later that day, it's time to get "sorted" into cabins based off of genre. The platformer dorm sucks. Mario. Everything there is Mario. Mario this, Mario that. I sigh. This summer is going to be very, very long. I'm out, people.

**The end.**


End file.
